


Knots

by vixensheart



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2018-12-31 06:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12127026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vixensheart/pseuds/vixensheart
Summary: It was supposed to be simple. Just one, sordid night between the sheets. No emotions, no strings attached. But things never go according to plan, and Garfield and Raven find their lives more entangled than ever before...





	1. The Deal

He could smell it. 

 

It was part of the curse of having heightened senses; he could always hear the little things the others did at night, he could always see what lurked among the shadows, and he could always smell the various foods being cooked no matter where he was in the tower.

 

But Garfield could always smell more than just food, and there were some scents that drove him a little bit mad. Like whenever Raven or Starfire started emitting their ‘ _in season_ ’ pheromones.

 

It was a scent that burned in his nose, igniting his body on fire. He always had to keep his distance whenever it started tickling his nose, lest he do something incredibly stupid. And the girls usually returned the favor.

 

So he was rather shocked when his communicator started blinking with a message from Raven, asking him to come to her room. He stared at the screen, his brows pulled together in confusion as he tried to make sense of the request. Why would she want him to see her _now_ , of all times? He knew she was aware of his predicament, after that episode a few years back when he’d tried to kiss a girl who was emitting the very same pheromones. Garfield heaved a sigh, and tossed the communicator to the couch.

 

This was probably a terrible idea, he knew, but it was better to humour the empath than make her angry. So to her room he went, his apprehension building as he drew near.

 

Despite the door providing a barrier, the spicy scent still tickled at his nostrils, making him feel antsy. Garfield chewed on his lip and rapped on her door, taking care to step far enough back to stay somewhat sane. The door slid open with a whoosh, revealing the familiarly cloaked shape of Raven.

 

Her amethyst eyes gleamed in the light, her burning gaze tangling with his own. She regarded him impassively, before beckoning him into her room. Garfield blinked, balking hesitantly.

 

“Uh...Rae?”

 

She sighed, gesturing him inside once more. “Please, Gar, come in.” Her clipped voice sent chills down his spine, and he gulped. The delicious scent rolling off of her certainly didn’t help ease his anxiety, instead it made everything just a bit more hazy. Still, he obliged, all but stumbling into her room. The door clicked shut behind them, and he turned to meet her gaze.

 

Raven eyed him from across the room, something devious glittering in the depths of her irises. “I have a proposition,” she said quietly. Garfield gulped, fidgeting nervously.

 

“O-oh?”

 

She closed the distance between them, pausing only a hairsbreadth away from him. Her warm breath tickled his lips, and her addicting scent made him feel hot all over. “I...have this itch,” she murmured. Garfield shivered, feeling dizzy. He forgot how to breath, it seemed, for he started to feel lightheaded.

 

Raven grazed her fingers against his arm, her touch searing into his skin and making him shudder. Garfield bit back a whine, squirming in place. She was teasing him, and dammit, he wanted nothing more than to pin her against the wall and pound her till she screamed. The thought was as terrifying as it was exhilarating, and he had to ball his hands in fists and chomp on his lip to keep from acting.

 

“I need help scratching it,” Raven said, her alluring gaze tangling with his. “Will you help me?”

 

He responded by crashing his lips into hers, kissing her hard. Raven slipped her arms around his waist and kissed him back, their tongues tangling in a desperate embrace. A moment later, Raven pulled back, cradling his face in her hands. “This stays between us, okay?”

 

Garfield bit his lip and nodded, before leaning in and kissing her again. Yeah sure, he’d keep this a secret. But right now, his biggest concern was tearing that damn cloak off and having his way with her.

 

Soon enough their clothes were left in a forgotten pile on the floor, and they laid entangled together on the bed and between the sheets, giving in to their innermost carnal desires.


	2. One

Raven stared up at the ceiling. She was so dreadfully tired, that her whole body just ached. From her fingertips to her toes, everything seemed to throb. Raven heaved a sigh. She had wanted to get some reading done, but she was just so painfully tired, the very thought of  _ moving _ made her cringe. 

 

At this point, just lying here and possibly taking a nap seemed like a spectacular plan, and Raven breathed another sigh. She let her eyes flutter closed, her mind drifting towards dreamland. 

 

The alarm began shrieking, spurring Raven upright with a groan. Her head pounded and she felt awful, but she managed to crawl off of her bed, slip on her boots, and stumble out into the hallway. Once on her feet, Raven felt a little more steady, and she marched her way to the ops room, trying her best to suppress a yawn. 

 

And the desire to crawl back into bed. 

 

The other Titans were waiting for her, their expressions determined. Raven could feel the irritation and resignation emanating from everyone, mixing with her own exhaustion and dread. Why now? Of all times, why now? 

 

Nightwing eyed her curiously, a frown deepening on his lips. “You look tired,” he said. Raven huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. She refused to meet his gaze, staring steadfastly out the window. 

 

“I’m fine,” she grumbled. It wasn’t particularly a lie. She felt fine, per say. There was just an incessant feeling of exhaustion shadowing her every step, but it wasn’t unlike anything she’d experienced before. Besides, her healing powers would most likely kick in once she _ did  _ manage to get some sleep, and fix whatever the issue was. 

 

So perhaps she was deflecting the question, but there really wasn’t any reason to worry. Not that Raven could see, at least. 

 

She could feel the Titan leader’s gaze linger on her, his concern painting the air yellow. He sighed and looked away, much to her relief. 

 

“Okay, team,” Nightwing said, “there’s a tip about a fugitive being spotted along fifth street. He’s powered, so it’s our jurisdiction, but he should be easy to catch. Raven, Gar, and Kori, you guys locate him from the sky. Me and Vic will tackle the groundwork.” He paused, his gaze flickering to each of them as though to gauge if they’d digested the intel. Raven just sighed, giving him a flat look. 

 

Nightwing ignored her, instead dipping his head in a nod. “Okay, Titans, let’s go!” 

 

**_~#~_ **

 

Raven hovered in the air, feeling...bored. Her exhaustion still hadn’t faded like she’d hoped, but it probably didn’t help that Nightwing’s assertion about how easy this mission would be was right. It was  _ dreadfully _ easy. It took the three in the sky no time at all to locate the idiot, and all Nightwing and Cyborg had to do was block off the alleyway, and the fugitive surrendered. 

 

So now she floated here, waiting for the cops to come and wishing she could just lay down and sleep. Another yawn bubbled to her lips, and she blinked sleepily. 

 

“Geeze, Rae, you sure you aren’t tired?” 

 

Garfield’s voice caught her focus, and she peered down at the green shapeshifter. Beneath the awkward smile was a fountain of concern, and Raven shivered under the intensity of his gaze. She forced an indifferent expression onto her features, and raised a brow. “What makes you say that?” she scoffed. Garfield furrowed his brow, his smile slipping away. He rubbed his arm and chewed his lip, uncertainty permeating the air around him. 

 

“W-well, you look dead on your feet. Figuratively speaking, anyway.” 

 

Raven tugged her cloak tighter around her shoulders, averting her gaze. “I’m fine,” she mumbled again for what felt like the upteenth time. Guilt gnawed at her as his concern colored her senses, and Raven suppressed a sigh. 

 

Okay, maybe she wasn’t so fine. She  _ was _ pretty tired. But was that really so worrying? It wasn’t as though they’d never gone weeks at a time with little or no sleep. So what if she felt a little sleepy?

 

“You might as well go, Raven,” Cyborg said gently. “Gar’s right, you look dead tired. Just head back to the tower and get some rest, okay? We can handle it from here.” 

 

Raven furrowed her brows, her mouth opening in protest, when another yawn broke loose, halting any argument. She blushed sheepishly and sighed, dipping her head in submission. “Fine, I’ll go,” she muttered, “but only to shut you two up.” 

 

They both seemed quite relieved with her decision, much to Raven’s chagrin. 

 

“I will go with you!”

 

Starfire’s chipper voice caught Raven off guard, and she blinked at her Tamaranean friend. “Y-you don’t have to, I’ll be fine.” 

 

Starfire beamed and hooked arms with her. “Nonsense! I  _ wish _ to!” She all but dragged her along, leaving Raven to throw a wide eyed look at the two boys behind her. They only grinned back, leaving her to her fate. 

 

The Tamaranean lead her through the streets of Jump, settling them into a comfortable pace as they wandered towards the shoreline. Raven could tell something was on her mind, but whatever it was, Starfire kept silent. Instead, they threaded through the afternoon crowd, arm in arm. Raven let her gaze wander, idle thoughts about passersby bubbling to the forefront of her mind. That man in the business suit, was he going to a meeting? Or the woman with the stroller, was she just on a casual walk? The possibilities were literally endless, and it wasn’t until they stopped that Raven paused in her musings. 

 

A cool breeze tickled her skin and made Raven shiver. She peered out at the expanse of ocean before them, the blip of the tower on its island catching her gaze. 

 

“Are you certain you are not unwell?” Starfire asked, breaking her silence. Raven blinked, turning sharply to her. 

 

“I-I told you, Starfire, I’m fine.” 

 

The alien princess held her gaze, her lips drawn in a pout. She nodded slowly, though Raven could feel her uncertainty tainting the air around them. Starfire breathed a feathery sigh, and she tightened her grip on Raven’s arm. “Alright,” she murmured, “I do believe you. But Raven, we are worried for you. Please, do tell us if something is the matter. You know I am here for ‘the talking’.”

 

Of course Raven knew this. Starfire was always there, eager to listen to whatever she had to say. It was a friendship Raven was ever grateful for, and it made her feel even worse for the worry that clouded Starfire’s aura. She managed a smile, and squeezed Starfire’s arm. “Of course, Star.” 

 

Seemingly satisfied, Starfire released her hold on Raven and took off into the sky, waiting for her to follow. Raven heaved a sigh and followed, wishing dearly for her fatigue to fade, and everything to return back to normal. 

 

**_~#~_ **  


 

Raven awoke to the sunlight piercing through her curtains and beaming its overeager rays onto her face. She groaned, pulling the covers up over her head. 

 

Ugh. 

 

Despite going to bed at a decent time, Raven still felt exhausted. She just wanted to doze off once more, safely nestled beneath the warmth of her blankets. But her grumbling stomach and a burning need to pee had her up and moving, grumbling curses under her breath. 

 

It was times like these Raven almost wished she was a full demon, rather than only part. Her flesh-trap of a body provided an overabundance of grievances, like depriving her of sleep by waking her up with its constant needs. Like peeing. And eating. 

 

Raven tossed a cloak on over her pajamas and ventured out into the hallway, stifling a yawn. She made a pitstop at the bathroom to relieve herself before making her way to the common room. 

 

From the bustle of activity hammering against her emphatic senses, Raven could guess most everyone was already awake. She bit back a sigh, readying herself for the barrage of questions bound to shower her. 

 

It wasn’t often she slept so late, after all. 

 

Raven took a deep breath and pushed through the common room doors, her heart pounding in her chest. Immediately, the sizzling sounds of bacon tickled her ears, and Raven breathed in the accompanying smoky smell. She paused, blinking. 

 

The usually mouth-watering smell  _ revolted _ her. Her stomach began a series of somersaults, making her feel nauseous. Raven swallowed hard, trying desperately not to gag. What the hell was wrong with her? She’d felt fine just seconds ago. Was it really the bacon? 

 

Before she could process what was happening, Cyborg’s voice boomed through the room. “Mornin’, Rae! I’ve cooked up some breakfast! Want a plate?” 

 

She forced a thin smile and shook her head. “N-no thanks, I’ll just have some tea.” 

 

Her response earned her a few baffled glances, but Raven ignored them. She all but ran for the stove, and sought for her mug within the cabinets, taking care to breath through her mouth. The bacon smell burned around her, making eyes water and bile rise in her throat. Raven poured tea into her mug with shaking hands and fled the room, gagging as she went. 

 

_ Great Azar _ , she thought as she leaned against the wall in the hallway,  _ what the hell is wrong with me?  _ Raven chewed her lip and stared into her steaming mug, her appetite totally tarnished. The mug felt leaden in her hands, its weight pushing the events that just transpired through her mind again, and again. The very recollection of the bacon smell threw Raven into another nauseous fit, and she clasped a hand to her mouth and staggered to the bathroom. 

 

Raven barely made it to the toilet before puking her guts out. A grogginess settled over her, and she couldn’t focus on much more than the sour taste in her mouth and the cold porcelain pressing against her skin. Her head pounded, and Raven felt another wave of nausea crash over her. She let out a piteous moan, willing the dizziness to stop. 

 

“Raven?” 

 

Garfield’s voice boomed through the bathroom, making her wince. She blinked up at him, a blur of green in the entryway. Raven attempted to pull herself together, pushing herself away from the toilet and shooting him an indifferent glance. “What?” she said, her voice shaking. Garfield stepped closer, wringing his hands uncertainly. He looked very much like a deer caught in the crosshairs, approaching her as though she could bite his head off any moment. If she hadn’t felt so sick, Raven would have been miffed at his awkward behavior. But at the moment, she could care less. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

“M’fine,” she muttered, shooting the toilet a glare. “Just feeling a little dizzy’s all.” 

 

“...right,” Garfield said. He hesitated, before stepping closer and offering a hand. Raven took it wordlessly, letting him pull her carefully to her feet. He steadied her, his concerned gaze making her feel flushed. 

 

“Maybe you should let Vic check you out, Rae,” he murmured softly. “I mean, this...isn’t normal.”  

 

Raven opened her mouth to argue, but he spoke before she could formulate a response. 

 

“Like, you even  _ smell _ different.” 

 

At this, Raven balked. She blinked, pursing her lips. “What do you mean, I smell different?”

 

Garfield shrugged. “I dunno. You just smell...different.” 

 

“That doesn’t make sense.” 

 

A sudden spike of anger forked the air, making Raven suck in a breath of air. Garfield’s face twisted into a scowl, and he pulled away, glaring at the floor. “I don’t know, Raven! You just do!” The words hung in the air a moment, stretching the silence between them for what seemed like an eternity. Then Garfield sighed, and the spell was broken. 

 

“You smell...sweeter, I guess.” He flushed, ducking his head. “I dunno, it’s hard to explain.” The green shapeshifter, rubbed at his neck, his embarrassment flooding the space around them. “Well, um, let me know if you need anything, okay?” His gaze found hers, and Raven realized she was nodding. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

There was a beat where they merely stareed at each other, seemingly at a loss for words, before Garfield managed to find the will to scurry away, leaving Raven alone with her jumbled up, disjointed thoughts. 

 

_ You smell different _ . 

 

The words knocked around her head, mixing with her bizarre episode and onslaught of exhaustion. She heaved a sigh, leaning against the sink. What on earth was going on? Why was she so suddenly sick? And what kind of illness could this possibly be? A deadly one? 

 

Raven gulped, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself to breath. She slowly blinked them open, her gaze climbing up to the mirror hanging in front of her. A pale, tired reflection stared back at her, the dark circles under her eyes screaming for attention. Raven let her gaze become unfocused, the reflection’s backdrop taking on the forefront of her attention. A blinking alarm clock caught her attention, the backwards numbers on proud display as the clock blinked out the time. Raven squinted at it a moment, before whirling around to get a good look at it herself. 

 

It was one of those clocks with the date listed beneath the time. Simple, yet effective. The Titans had these clocks stashed all over the tower, and yet somehow it wasn’t until now that Raven really paid them any attention. 

 

_ September 2nd, 2017 _ , it read.  

 

_ September second _ …

 

_ September second _ …

 

Raven’s eyes grew wide, her mouth dropping open. A sudden, horrific realization dawned upon her, and suddenly everything made perfect sense. A weight formed in her belly, and Raven sank to the floor, her hands trembling. 

 

_ Oh, shit _ . Oh shit, oh shit, oh  _ shit _ . 

 

The room trembled with her, as though her fear had spread through the floor to the walls and beams, shaking the tower’s very structure to its core. She tried to control her breathing, but all that came were erratic gasps spilling from her lips. This couldn’t be happening, could it? But the evidence was clear, laid out before her in a nice, neat package. Still, the thought turned over in her mind, a revelation so shocking, she just couldn’t fathom it. 

 

Could she be... _ pregnant? _

 

**_~#~_ **  


  
  


Raven glared at the offensive package, chewing her lip to keep it from quivering. It’s stupidly cheery, bright pink colors did nothing more than hurt her eyes and bring a scowl onto her features. 

 

**_Know six days sooner!_ **

The words seemed to leap off of the packaging, flashing across her mind and burning itself into her memory. Raven huffed, reaching for it with trembling hands. She’d made the purchase earlier that day, offering to pick up groceries so enthusiastically, she was pretty sure she’d nearly given Nightwing a fright. Luckily no one had offered to go with her, and Raven was free to pick up the horrendous box herself. 

 

Of course, this was just a preemptive measure. Chances were slim to none that she was pregnant; after all, Raven was fairly certain she was infertile. Still, her period  _ was _ almost two weeks late, and she certainly  _ did _ have sex recently…

 

Images of jade skin and emerald eyes flashed across her mind. She could almost feel his hands dancing across her bare back, his kisses staining her lips…

 

Raven gulped, suppressing a shiver. She forced herself to read the directions on the box, doing her best to put that night out of her mind. After all, what happened then was meant to stay in the past, locked away in the dark corners of her memory. It did her no good to think about those fangs nibbling at her jugular; it was a distraction at best. 

 

A very  _ satisfying _ distraction. 

 

She shook herself and focused on the box. The directions seemed easy enough; just uncap the stick, pee on it, cap it, and wait for the results. Raven took a deep breath. She could do this, ease her mind, and move on with her life. 

 

Simple. 

 

Raven carefully unboxed her unwanted product, eyeing the stick uncertainly. “It’s just a test,” she murmured. Trembling, she uncapped the test and did the necessary deed, afterwards placing the stick on the counter and pacing the room while she waited. 

 

It was the longest minute of Raven’s life. She paced back and forth, anxiety wrapping her tighter within its embrace with every step she took. Her heart pounded, her breaths were shallow, and a cold sweat dampened her skin. What if this was legit? What if she  _ was _ pregnant? 

 

Horrific memories of her father and his control plagued her mind. Was it possible he could harm her unborn child? Or worse, curse any children she had, just as he cursed her? The sharp, metallic taste of blood danced across her tongue, and Raven realized she’d been chewing into her lip. 

 

Raven paused, raising a hand to her lips. She forced herself to breath, her mantra flooding across her mind.  _ It’s just a test,  _ she thought.  _ No need to panic. _ Still, ice gripped her veins when she rested her gaze onto the little white stick, her lungs seemingly forgetting how to breath. She reached forward, plucking it carefully off of the counter, and held it up close, her heart in her throat. Raven’s gaze scanned the test, and immediately her heart plummeted to her feet. There, frozen within the little window, were two bold, little lines. 

 

She was pregnant. 

 

The stick dropped from her grasp, clattering onto the tile floor. The room started to spin, and Raven felt like she was going to be sick. Only one thought emblazoned across her mind; she needed air. 

 

She needed  _ out _ . 

 

Raven fumbled for the door and stumbled into the hall, her flight responses taking over. She had no plan, no course of action in mind. But none of that seemed to matter; her only drive was to run as far away from the pregnancy test as possible, and maybe clear her mind. 

 

“Raven?” 

 

The voice echoed through the hallway, bringing Raven to a grinding halt. She wavered in place, her heart still pounding out of her chest.

 

“Raven, is...is everything okay?”

**_~#~#~#~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's chapter one! Hopefully it's a good one! :D
> 
> Thanks for the read!


	3. Two

The sweet aroma of hot chocolate tickled Raven's nose. It was soothing, almost, providing some lull to the panic brewing within her mind. She blinked as a mug appeared in her line of sight, the steam puffing up into the air in delicate, pale wisps.

"Here," Nightwing said, his voice soft and gentle. Raven took the mug gratefully, almost sighing at the comfortable warmth spreading into her palms. As a tea drinker, Raven loved the feeling of a good, warm mug resting in her hands. It was an odd comfort, but one she appreciated now nonetheless.

"I hope you like marshmallows," Nightwing said. "I put the little ones in there."

Raven forced a smile. "Thank you." She brought the mug to her lips, blowing the hot chocolate gently before taking a small sip. It was delicious, both rich and creamy. Raven hummed contentedly, relishing in the momentary distraction. "This is delicious, Dick," she murmured. Nightwing grinned.

"Thanks! It's a family recipe." He winked, his tone teasing. Raven couldn't help but snicker, her tense shoulders slowly relaxing. One thing she forever appreciated about Nightwing, was that he never pushed her to talk. Instead of demanding answers, he lured her to the common room, draped a blanket over her shoulders, and made her hot chocolate.

Delicious hot chocolate, at that.

The mood in the room shifted, and Raven lifted her gaze to the former boy wonder. The grin on his features faded, a serious expression settling in its place. He leaned forward, his concern potent in the air around them. "I don't know what's going on, Raven, but you know I'm here when you're ready to talk, okay?"

Raven chomped on her lip, her emotions taking a dizzying nosedive. Immediately, the positive pregnancy test reared back up into the forefront of her mind, plunging her back into the panic that she'd felt just a few short moments prior. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and waves of guilt for causing her friend so much worry mingled with her terror. The words sprung to her lips before Raven could even think, and she blurted out into the open air, "I'm pregnant."

Nightwing choked on his drink, spitting back into his cup. He hacked out a cough, blinking at her with wide, dumbfounded eyes. "You're  _what_?"

A sigh breezed past her lips, and Raven hung her head in shame. "I'm pregnant," she murmured, Nightwing's shock hitting her like a slap in the face. He stared at her, his mouth hanging open as he gawked shamelessly.

"Y-you…what?"

Raven's gaze flickered to the table, where Nightwing's mask lay forgotten. She remembered quite vividly when he'd started taking it off around them. He'd finally come around to disclosing his secret identity to the team, one person at a time. Of course, he told Starfire first, for obvious reasons. Raven knew some of the story beforehand, however, from her trip inside his mind when he'd been poisoned by Slade, but she'd only seen bits and pieces. It wasn't until Nightwing had taken her aside and told her everything that the many fragmented memories she'd witnessed made any sense.

He trusted her then, and she trusted him now. So she told him. She told him everything; the desire, the deal, the affair between her and Garfield,  _everything_.

Nightwing listened quietly, his expression one of guarded curiosity as Raven's tale spilled from her lips. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders as she spoke, as though the flimsy fabric would protect her from whatever backlash she was bound to unleash. Raven finished her tale with the report of the little white stick, slumping dejectedly in her seat. A beat of silence spread between them. Raven could almost feel Nightwing's brain twisting and turning its gears as he digested her story. She dropped her gaze, fiddling with her mug absently. "What am I going to do?" she murmured.

Nightwing laid a gentle hand on her arm, his gaze warm and his emotions comforting. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," he said. "I'm gonna make some phone calls, see what options are out there for you. That way you can make an educated decision on what's the best course of action."

Raven looked up, blinking in surprise. "Really?" She hugged herself tightly, uncertainty brewing within her. "Thank you, Dick, but…this isn't your problem." Raven sighed, dropping her head. "It's mine."

"So? You're family, Raven. We take care of each other, no matter what."

His words brought a smile to her face. "Thanks," she murmured. A thought bubbled to her mind, and her smile vanished. "Should…should I tell Gar?"

Nightwing's hand disappeared, returning to his mug of hot chocolate. The Titan leader sighed, his brows drawn in thought. "Well," he said, "if I were in his shoes, I know I'd want to know." He paused, shooting her a glance. "It's up to you, though. But knowing Gar, he'd fully support your decision a thousand percent, too. We all will, really."

He was right, Raven knew. Garfield was too good of a person to turn her down in a situation like this. Still, the idea of forcing something like this upon him made Raven feel horrible. She'd already been selfish enough, what with luring him into risking their friendship and pleasuring her more human needs. What kind of person would she be if she forced a child onto him too?

Raven dropped her head into her hands. She was a terrible person. She should have never have given in, and she definitely should never have dragged Garfield into this mess. What kind of friend risked a friendship for sex?

Her skin crawled, as if remembering the desire that made her feel as though her very skin was aflame. Raven knew she was…different…because of her demonic heritage; after all, she'd often go through periods where things like sex were far more appealing to her than usual, but this past time it was almost  _unbearable_.

"I know," she said faintly. Nightwing pursed his lips, as if to say more, when the common room doors slid open and the fiery aura of Starfire brightened the room. Raven turned, her brows raising at the lacy robe that the Tamaranean princess donned.

"There you are!" she chirped. "I have been wondering if you had forgotten about our…plans." Starfire paused, blinking as she looked between Raven and Nightwing. "Oh! Friend Raven! Is something the matter?" she queried. Raven forced a smile and shook her head, pushing herself up onto her feet.

"No, Kori, nothing's wrong." She ignored Nightwing's troubled glance, focusing instead on Starfire. "Dick was just showing me how to make his fancy hot chocolate." Raven gestured to the half empty mugs. "I was curious, as I've never had homemade hot chocolate before. I didn't mean to interrupt your plans."

She swept away in a flourish, fleeing through the common room doors before Nightwing could protest.

**~#~**

 

Raven stared at the pile of pamphlets that rested on her bed. There were at least thirty different ones, all detailing a colorful variety of things that could be done for or about pregnancy. Accompanying the pamphlets were a few business cards for a few different types of clinics, too. It was…almost alarming, how many pamphlets Nightwing had delivered to her. He'd dropped the armload off the morning following their little chat, before quietly asking her to meet him in his office to discuss some things.

She'd glanced at a few already, but the pile was somewhat daunting. Raven decided she'd set aside some time at the end of the day to read through as many as she could manage. That way there was less of a chance she'd be interrupted, and she could take her time and digest the pamphlets' information.

Before exiting the sanctity of her room, Raven decided to sweep the pile of pamphlets underneath the safety of her duvet, where no prying eyes could see them. Unless of course someone decided to climb into her bed, but the chances of that happening were slim to none. Especially considering that only one person has ever climbed into her bed, and she was most definitely present for the occasion.

Heat crept up Raven's neck and stung at her cheeks. She shook her head, as though to shake away the vivid memories. A sigh breezed past her lips, and she hugged her cloak closer about herself as she scurried out into the hallway. Raven wondered briefly what Nightwing wanted to see her for. After all, she'd already discussed her…predicament with him. What more was needed to be said?

"Hey, Raven!"

The cheery voice sent a bolt of panic through Raven. She whirled around, staring wide eyed at the fang toothed smile of Garfield Logan himself.

Shit.

_Just act normal, just act normal,_  Raven thought. She crossed her arms over her chest, doing her best to look bored. "What?" Her voice sounded harsh in her ears, and she winced. Garfield leaned against the wall, seemingly unperturbed by her unintendedly abrasive inflection. His contented aura felt soothing against her empathy, and Raven found her stiff stance relaxing.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. Raven blinked.

"O-oh, I'm feeling great," she stammered. "I've never felt better." The words tumbled from her lips, and Raven could feel a flush beginning to heat up her features. She ducked her head, avoiding Garfield's baffled stare. Raven was certain he could tell something was off; how could he not? Nothing felt right. She felt off kilter, as though life had slammed into her and tossed her out of orbit. Everything seemed shiny and new and different, like she was staring into a mirrored image of the universe, separated from reality by a new, invisible layer of uncertainty. She no longer knew how to act or behave, for fear seemed to shadow her every move.

What if she accidentally blurted out her secret? Worse yet, what if Garfield wanted the baby but she didn't? Raven sucked in a breath, feeling dizzy. "I've gotta go," she mumbled under her breath, before whirling around and scurrying away, leaving behind Garfield and his bubble of bafflement.

**~#~**

 

Raven knocked lightly on the door, waiting for the muffled ' _Come in_ ' before opening it and stepping inside. The office looked as it always did; organized in all aspects aside from the scattered paperwork cluttering the desk. Considering that the desk was the most used object in the room, the mess made sense. Raven still found it amusing, however, that Nightwing could keep everything else rigidly tidy, but still managed to have a disaster zone for a desk.

"You wanted to see me?" she said, her voice loud in the quiet space. Nightwing beckoned her to sit, his gaze never leaving the illuminated screen of his laptop. He typed away, the keys clicking rhythmically against the otherwise peaceful office. Raven settled into the nearest chair, a small sigh breezing past her lips. She watched him work dully, her mind wandering once again to the nature of her predicament. Or, more accurately, how exactly she was supposed to tell Garfield what was going on.

She shouldn't just tell him…right?

"Sorry about that," Nightwing said, breaking through her thoughts. "I just had to send in some paperwork for the Mayor's office."

Raven hummed, feigning interest. The mayor was a whiny man, hardly worthy of the title. But, somehow he'd won the vote, so the Titans were forced to recognize him. Especially in terms of not being charged for constantly destroying the city.

"So, how are you feeling today?" Nightwing's voice was soft, and Raven could feel his concern like ice cold water against her skin. Her encounter with Garfield bubbled to the forefront of her mind, and she did her best to suppress the bubbles of irritation surfacing within her.

"I'm  _fine_ ," she muttered. Nightwing raised a brow, but didn't press her. Instead, he reached over his desk and plucked something from among the pile of papers.

"Here." He handed her a small business card. Raven turned it over in her hands, reading the name.

**Cecelia E. Forrest, MD**

**Obstetrics and Gynecology**

She blinked. Oh. Raven looked up sharply, her brows furrowed in confusion. "What's this?"

"The best OB-GYN doctor in Jump City." Nightwing scratched the back of his neck, sighing. "I know you aren't sure yet about, um,  _everything_ , but I figured it wouldn't hurt for you to see someone. She's got some openings Friday, if you're interested."

Raven stared at the Titan leader, feeling dumbfounded. She had no idea how to process the information. A doctor? Really? What if she decided not to keep the pregnancy, what then? Raven didn't want to waste anyone's time. She fiddled with the business card, uncertainty making her stomach churn. "Um…thanks," she murmured, unsure of what else to say. Nightwing nodded, seemingly satisfied.

"Also, I'm planning on letting you have an easy week, until you decide. Don't worry about training, and if we get an alert, try to hang back."

Raven never thought she'd hear those words come from Nightwing's mouth. The Titan leader was renown for his drive and desire to keep their team in the utmost tip-top shape. As such, it was rare that he ever said no to training. So Raven couldn't help but gawk at him.

"R-really?"

Nightwing raised a brow. "What?" Bafflement clouded the air around them, and Raven suppressed a smile.

"I just never thought I'd hear you say that."

The Titan leader blinked before rolling his eyes. "Ha, ha, Raven," he said. "You know I care about your health."

At this, Raven softened. A smile crept across her features, gratitude spreading through her like warmth from a fire. The endless support Nightwing had provided was almost too much fro Raven to wrap her mind around. He never belittled her sexual endeavor, never pressured her to choose a path, and as far as she could tell, he didn't spill her secret. He was truly a great friend, and Raven wondered if she'd ever be able to repay him. "I know," she murmured softly. "Thank you, again."

Nightwing returned her smile, his emotions warm and friendly. "Of course, Raven." He stood, then, his gaze flickering back to his laptop. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm supposed to be taking Kori to see that new movie that came out last week."

Raven suppressed a chuckle and rolled her eyes. The movie in question was some Sci-fy romance type of thing that Starfire had been begging Nightwing to take her to. The former boy wonder was reluctant, of course; if only because of the chick-flick nature of the film, but it was no surprise to Raven that he'd finally given in. No one could resist the puppy eyes of Starfire,  _especially_  not the man who was in love with her.

"Have fun with that," she teased. Nightwing rolled his eyes as he let her out of his office, flipping off the lights behind her. She could feel his affection for the Tamaranean bubbling around them; a familiar, glowing warmth, swirling with an intensity Raven had yet to understand.

"I will!" he quipped as he tugged the door shut behind him. He waved as he scurried off, leaving Raven alone in the hallway. Her smile faded as Nightwing fanished, and the looming dread began to creep up on her once more.

Raven sighed. Well. She should probably meditate some, to prepare for what she planned to do tonight.

"Oh, uh, hey Raven."

The sound of Garfield's voice made her stomach drop to her feet, and Raven whirled around to see the shapeshifter shuffling up to her.

"Whatcha' doing?"

Her heart hammered in her throat, and Raven didn't know how to respond. She blinked, her gaze flickering between Garfield's shimmering irises and the closed door beside her. "Um," she sputtered, "n-nothing." Raven pawed at her cloak, tugging it around her. She avoided Garfield's gaze, desperately trying to shut out his baffled and concerned emotions.

"Oh..okay. So you're just standing by Dick's office for no reason?"

"I was just…walking."

Raven cursed herself inwardly. Walking? Really? That was the best she could come up with? She chomped on her lip and shuffled awkwardly, her gaze darting about in search of an escape. Despite her inner logic almost urging her to be calm, and that there was no need to panic, Raven couldn't escape the anxiety that clawed at her chest. The unruly and unreasonable fear had her frozen, incapable of looking the green shapeshifter in the eyes. Raven eyed the dark hallway behind him, chewing on her lip as she edged towards it. "If you'll excuse me," she muttered, "I've got somewhere to be."

Garfield's yellowed emotions brushed against her senses, staining her mind with disappointment, confusion, and concern. There was something else there, too, that Raven couldn't quite decipher. But her own mind was a jumble of thoughts and feelings, so trying to sort someone else's concoction of emotions was a monumental task that Raven was currently not up to.

She'd only taken maybe a few steps when Garfield's voice rang out in the hallway once more.

"Wait, you dropped this!"

Raven paused, tossing her gaze over her shoulder with a confused blink. She caught sight of a small, white rectangle in Garfield's hand, and Raven felt her heart freeze in place.

The business card.

She'd forgotten all about it. How she'd dropped it, Raven knew not. But it didn't matter now. Ignoring the popping lights overhead, Raven lurched forward and snagged it from Garfield's grasp, her fingers brushing against his smooth, mossy colored skin. She somehow managed to utter a quick "Thanks" before scurrying away, leaving a very baffled Garfield behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the patience! Life's been hectic, so this took a bit longer than expected. Hopefully it's worth the wait! ;D


	4. Three

Garfield glared out the window. The bright sunny day and big, puffy clouds did little more than sour his mood; where bright skies would normally boost his happiness, today, it mocked him. It was like mother nature was saying, “Your feelings don’t matter! Today’s a great day!” when it felt like anything but. He stared hopelessly at the painfully blue sky, wishing that just for once  _ something _ would acknowledge him. 

 

“Damn, B, why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy?” 

 

Garfield blinked, turning his head just in time to see Cyborg flopping down onto the couch beside him. The cybernetic man’s tone was teasing, but Garfield could see the concern twinkling in his eye. He sighed, turning away and dropping his head back into his hands. His shoulders lifted in an automatic shrug, another heavy sigh breezing past his lips. “Dunno,” he mumbled. “Feels like it.”  Garfield heard Cyborg shift in his seat. 

 

“Wanna play some Racing and let off some steam?” 

 

On a normal day, Garfield would say yes. Video game matches with his best friend were one of the best ways to get his mind off of things and vent his frustrations by virtually exploding stuff. It worked wonders for the most part, and was something he often looked forward too. There was few better ways to bond than through epic video game matches, after all. But today Garfield’s mind was amuck with self doubt and hurt, blanketed by emotional exhaustion. He heaved another sigh and shook his head. “No.” 

 

There was a beat of silence. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Cyborg asked, his voice gentle. He could almost see Cyborg’s concern manifesting itself around him. Garfield shrugged. 

 

“No. Yes. I don’t know!” He groaned and tossed his gaze upward, glaring at the ceiling. “I just wish I knew what I did wrong,” he murmured. Garfield turned to Cyborg, meeting his friend’s baffled gaze. 

 

“What do you mean?” Cyborg asked. “You didn’t pull any pranks lately, did you?” 

 

“What? No!”

 

Cyborg raised a brow. “Than what’s eating at you, Grass Stain?” 

 

“Why is Raven avoiding me?” 

 

The words sounded strange aloud. But Garfield couldn’t help the fear that seeped into his voice, echoing in the vast chamber that was the common room. He felt his face burning under Cyborg’s stare, and Garfield dropped his gaze and fiddled with his fingers. 

 

“You sure she’s avoiding you?” 

 

Garfield blinked. “What do you mean?” 

 

“Well,” Cyborg said, “this is Rae we’re talking about. She goes through phases sometimes.” He shrugged, a nonchalant expression painting his features. “If something’s actually wrong, she’ll talk about it when she’s ready. You know she will.” 

 

Garfield frowned, his thoughts churning uneasily in his mind. Cyborg was right, for the most part. Raven did have a tendency to regress inward when there was an issue, often because she took the time to contemplate things. But other times, he knew, she pushed everything away, as though ignoring the problem would somehow solve it. Plus, he couldn’t help but think back on their recent encounters, and how everytime, Raven seemed to try and hurry away from him. “Maybe…” he mumbled. “Something’s off though, Vic. What if I did something wrong?”

 

“Well...can you think of any way you’d have upset her?” 

 

He paused. What  _ could _ he have done? Lately, Garfield had hardly spoken to Raven. Missions seemed to be almost daily, and they hadn’t had a team bonding night in awhile. It hadn’t been since  _ that _ night that he’d spent any extended time with her… 

 

Garfield blinked. Did...did this have anything to do with that night? He furrowed his brows, his thoughts racing a mile a minute. It  _ seemed _ to go well. Raven seemed to enjoy herself, anyway. And they definitely didn’t speak of it again, as she’d asked… A flush burned at his cheeks as the memories rose up in his mind. Then again, Garfield wasn’t exactly the most experienced guy in the world. Maybe he messed up somehow? 

 

He opened his mouth to speak, when the common room doors burst open. The distinctive smell of lilacs accompanied by a new, jarring undertone tickled at his nose.  _ Raven _ . The empath in question strode to the kitchen, her nose buried in one of her many books. Garfield forced a grin onto his lips. 

 

“Hey, Raven!” 

 

His greeting rang out into the common room, echoing in his ears. He watched as Raven stumbled to a halt, her gaze raising sharply from her book to him. A sharp breath caught in his throat as he stared. Raven’s expression seemed haunted, and she looked at him like a deer caught in headlights, just like two nights prior. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

Garfield’s lips twitched, and his lips hurt from the forced grin. He maintained it, though, trying his damnedest to maintain some semblance of normalcy. “So, whatcha’ reading?” 

 

Raven blinked, as though attempting to process his words. Her gaze flickered to the book and back up again, and Garfield could have almost sworn she blushed a little, but she ducked her head before he could gauge her expression properly. 

“Nothing,” she murmured. Raven snapped the book shut and clutched it to her chest, as though to shield it from prying eyes. Garfield felt his smile falter, and he couldn’t help but furrow his brows as she scurried into the kitchen. She yanked the cabinets open and rummaged around, looking for something. 

 

Garfield shifted his gaze to Cyborg, shooting him a look. The cybernetic teen raised a brow, looking between him and Raven with a contemplative expression. “You feeling okay, Rae?” Cyborg asked slowly. She whirled around, a box of Cheeze-itz in hand. 

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks.” She pointedly avoided Gar’s gaze, and ducked her head as she hurried out. He watched her go, his heart twisting a little in his chest. His whole body tingled, as if willing him to speak up. Ask her what was wrong. But a weight held him down, keeping him in his seat as he helplessly watched her vanish behind the door. 

 

It wasn’t until the doors clicked shut that Garfield realized he was chewing into his lip. He ran his tongue over the small wound and breathed a sigh, turning his attention back to Cyborg. “See?” he said. “She’s been acting like that for a few days now!” Garfield felt his body droop, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. “I don’t get it.” 

 

“I...I don’t know, B.” 

 

Garfield peered upwards. Cyborg looked thoughtful, though he could see the frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “She probably just needs some time,” Cyborg said. “Try talking to her, though. It can’t hurt.” 

 

He nibbled his lip. How the hell was he supposed to talk to someone that didn’t even want to look at him? Garfield felt a wave of despair roll over him. There was no way he could force her to talk; that was wrong. But there was no other way to resolve the issue. Whatever that was. Cyborg was right, though; he had to try. So Garfield managed a small smile. 

 

“Okay, I’ll try. Thanks, Vic.” 

 

Cyborg grinned. “‘Course, Gar. If you have trouble, I can always try too.” 

 

Garfield shook his head. “Nah, dude. Thanks.” 

 

Despite the fact that Cyborg would probably be better suited to solving the riddle that was Raven, Garfield felt as though he should do it alone. This was his mess he’d somehow stumbled into, after all. It was up to him to fix it. 

 

He managed a smile. “So. Still wanna play racing?”

 

Cyborg lurched for the remote, his eyes gleaming at the face of the challenge. “Hell yeah!” With a quick flick of the wrist, he tossed Garfield a console remote and began booting up the game. 

 

Despite Cyborg’s enthusiasm, Garfield couldn’t shake the apprehension coiling within his gut. He pushed thoughts of Raven to the side and focused on the television; voiding his mind of thought and focusing on the easy. 

  
  


**~#~**

  
  


Raven’s door filled his gaze, the steel grey slate seemingly looming up over him. Garfield stood stiff as a board as he stared, attempting with all his might to muster up the courage to knock. Usually, knocking was easy; he just sidled up next to the door, leaned against the frame, and rapped against the cool surface with nonchalance, chanting his nickname for her as easily as singing one of the many nursery rhymes he’d loved as a kid. 

 

Now, though, his fear mingled with memories of that night, culminating in a consistent pendulum of anxiety that coursed through him. He teetered in place, swaying to the beat of his emotions. On one hand, he was afraid of aggravating whatever problem was festering between them. On the other hand, something was wrong, and Garfield desperately wanted to be there for Raven. 

 

She was his friend. And he wasn’t about to pretend nothing was wrong when he could help. 

 

Swallowing back his fears, Garfield forced himself forward and reached out to knock. He blinked as the jarring sound echoed in the hallway, rattling his eardrums. His knuckles smarted a little as he drew back and waited. Seconds later, the door slipped open, revealing a mess of purple hair and those ever hypnotizing, tired eyes. She looked as though she’d just roused from a nap. Something Garfield never remembered Raven doing, now that he thought about it. He watched as she blinked, her mouth opening in a small ‘o’ as their gazes entangled. 

 

“Gar?” 

 

Garfield gulped. “Uh, Hey, Rae. What’s up? I-I mean, can we, um...talk?” 

 

Raven’s brows furrowed, and she tensed. “Why?” she asked, her voice hard. Garfield flinched. This was not going well. He focused on smiling and leaned against the doorway. 

 

“W-well, I thought, maybe...you’d wanna talk about what’s going on.” 

 

The empath stared at him, her expression blank. “You want to know what’s going on?” she said flatly. Garfield bit his lip and gulped. 

 

“Um, yeah?”

 

“Nothing.” 

 

Raven moved to close the door, sparking a bolt of panic inside him. Garfield yelped and barred the doorway, shooting her a pleading look. “Wait, Raven! Look, I’m sorry, okay! I’m just...really worried.” He took a breath, his gaze tangling with hers. “You’ve been avoiding me, Rae. A-and I don’t get why. I just...did I do something wrong?” 

 

The words spilled from his lips, pooling around them in a thick puddle of desperation. The conversation had spiralled out of his control, and Garfield’s heart hammered in his chest as the silence waned. He watched as Raven blinked up at him, shock shimmering in her eyes. She opened her mouth and Garfield held his breath, his heartbeat roaring in his ears, when the sharp, shrieking sound of the alarm interrupted them. He hissed a growl. 

 

Dammit. 

 

In his lapse of concentration, Raven threw the door open wide, throwing him off balance. The empath swept past him, her eyes glinting with something Garfield couldn’t decipher. “We have to go,” she said, her voice quiet. She turned and strode away, then, leaving Garfield staring piteously after her. 

 

This outcome was becoming more and more frequent, and Garfield didn’t like it. He bit back a sigh and pushed away from the door, jogging after her. 

 

**~#~**  


  
  
  


Soggy squares of Cinnamon Toast Crunch floated in his milk, bits of cinnamon sugar swirling around them. Garfield battered at them with his spoon, suppressing a sigh. His gaze wavered, before flickering back up to the common room door, only to be disappointed. Yet again. 

 

“How’s the cereal?” Nightwing asked, lulling Garfield out of his trance. 

 

“Good,” he said, unable to muster any enthusiasm. His gaze slid from the twinkling eyes of the Titan leader back to the common room doors again, his heart hammering in his chest as he waited. Garfield could hear Nightwing sigh beside him, but he kept his attention on the doors. He was hoping, pleading with whatever god existed in the heavens, that Raven would come to breakfast. And that he’d get a chance to talk to her immediately after. 

 

Yesterday’s alert had taken up the better part of the afternoon. It was a bank robbery with a severe hostage situation, and the local police had called in their help. It took hours to set up a plan and sneak inside, and another good hour to actually beat the crooks. By the time everything had been cleared and the victims freed, it was late. Garfield had attempted unsuccessfully to catch Raven on the way back inside the tower, to no avail. 

 

She had slipped from his grasp and vanished to her room, leaving him alone and frustrated. 

 

Garfield had spent most of the night tossing turning, desperately trying to think of the reason Raven could be avoiding him. He came up with a few ridiculous, sleep addled theories, that made little sense now that he was fully awake. 

 

Other than that, he had nothing. 

 

He took another bite of his cereal, the chatter from Starfire and Cyborg a distant buzz in his ears. What they were discussing, he didn’t know; his focus stayed solely on the stubbornly closed doors, blocking out most everything else. 

 

“Right, Gar?” 

 

The sound of his name jerked Garfield out of his silent reverie, and he blinked at Cyborg. “Huh?”

 

Cyborg sighed, rolling his eye. “I  _ said _ , we should bring Star to that new pizza joint downtown. Right?”

 

It was then that the distinctive swoosh of the common room doors echoed in his ears, and Garfield whipped his head around just in time to see Raven shuffling towards the kitchen. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled, distracted. His brows furrowed. 

 

Raven almost never wore loungewear,  at least, not outside of her bedroom. The few times he’d seen her clad in sweatpants and oversized t-shirts was when she wasn’t feeling well, and concern crashed over him like a tidal wave. He opened his mouth to speak, only to snap it shut as he watched her pull out a mug and pour herself a drink from the kettle on the stove. 

 

Huh. 

 

Garfield was almost certain the liquid in the kettle was not tea. He’d seen the kettle earlier that morning, giving it a curious glance as he sniffed the oddly sweet smell of hot chocolate wafting from within. While it was odd, the Titans had done stranger things when they were low on dishes, and no one wanted to load the dishwasher.  He had originally assumed the chocolatey drink was for Nightwing or Starfire. 

 

But Raven? Raven, who drank tea almost religiously, was drinking hot chocolate? 

 

If Garfield wasn’t already certain something was wrong, witnessing this event would have certainly put a nail in that coffin. 

 

“Uh, whatcha drinking, Rae?” he sputtered, his mind still whirling with this new revelation. Raven blinked, looking at him as if he had two heads. 

 

“Tea,” she said flatly. 

 

Garfield stared. He probably still should have expected it at this point, but the little white lie still threw him for a loop. He wanted to say something, to maybe question her further, but Raven was already making her exit, the common room doors swishing shut behind her. 

 

“That...that was hot chocolate,” he said. “Right?” 

 

“Yes, I do believe Dick made it earlier,” Starfire chirped. She frowned, pausing to take a bite of her eggs, mustard dripping onto her plate. “I do hope Raven doesn’t mind. She does enjoy her tea.” 

 

Garfield chewed at his lip, his gaze flickering back to the doors.  He was half tempted to go after her. But what would he say?  _ Hey, Rae, why’re you drinking hot chocolate? _ Yeah, real smooth. 

 

“Okay, guys,” Nightwing said as he stood, “let’s get some training in.” 

 

“Shall I go retrieve Raven?” Starfire asked. Nightwing shook his head. 

 

“No, she can join us later. Besides, I told her to get some rest after that last mission.” 

 

At this, Garfield raised his brows. While the last mission was painstakingly slow, it was hardly strenuous. In fact, Raven hardly did much at all. Nightwing knew that; they all did. Garfield knew everyone noticed the empath taking a step back and hovering on the outskirts. It was hard not to, given that she was usually all over hostage situations, using her powers to effectively free the innocents. So Nightwing letting Raven off easy left a stone at the pit of his stomach. Did...did Nightwing know what was happening? He risked a glance at the Titan leader, his thoughts swirling in his mind. 

 

If he knew, Nightwing gave no indication. And Garfield didn’t know whether to be angry, or relieved. He tore his gaze away, staring at the common room doors. One thing was for certain; he was determined to figure out what was happening. 

 

One way or another. 

 

**~#~**

 

Garfield leaned against the cool wall of the elevator, breathing a sigh. While he often abhorred training, it felt pretty good to beat the shit out of the punching bag. While it wasn’t his favorite way to let out steam, Garfield had to admit that it was pretty effective. 

 

He felt calmer now. Less stressed. The thought of Raven still reared up a hundred different emotions, but at least now with his jellied limbs, his mind was more eager to think of a nice cold shower and hitting the pillows for the night. 

 

The elevator dinged and the doors open, releasing Garfield into the common room. He shuffled towards the hallway, stifling a yawn. Yes, a shower and bed sounded like a  _ wonderful _ idea. His hand found the button to the doors and Garfield tumbled into the hallway, wincing at his sore muscles. 

 

It was then that the distinct sound of someone retching in the bathroom buzzed in his ears. Garfield frowned. It was never fun when a teammate got sick; everyone couldn’t help but feel worried, which often resulted in the team collectively babying each other whenever it happened. None of them could help it, really. Not that the sick person ever seemed to mind. His pace quickened instinctively, thoughts of fetching gatorade already running through his mind. 

 

Garfield paused at the bathroom door, carefully twisting the knob. Unlocked. He pushed the door open with care, and peeked inside. 

 

There, on the floor with her head practically in the toilet, was Raven, puking her guts out. A knot formed in Garfield’s stomach. It was sort of like deja vu, given that this was the _ exact _ predicament he’d found her in just days earlier.  

 

_ “You even smell different.” _

 

His words curled in his mind, and Garfield couldn’t help but feel as though that encounter had been a lifetime ago. His grip on the door tightened, and Garfield stepped farther into the room. “Raven?” 

 

The empath raised her head, her eyes bleary and her tousled hair framing her pale face. “What?” she said, her voice hoarse. 

 

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” 

 

Raven sighed and shook her head. “No, m’fine.” 

 

Garfield sucked in a breath. The words rang in his ears, taunting him. He knew it was a lie, just as she did. And yet here Raven was, spewing her lies as she tried over and over again to shut him out. His eyes narrowed. 

 

“No you’re not.” Garfield let go of the door, a growl rumbling in his throat. He could see Raven’s lips forming a little ‘o’, the shock mirrored in her eyes as she stared. 

 

“You’re not okay! You keep saying so, pretending so, even though it’s obvious something’s up! And every time I so much as  _ look _ at you, you run and hide! Am I not allowed to care?” He paused, his shoulders slumping. “I just...is it me? Did I do something wrong?” 

 

Raven leaned back, shaking her head vigorously. “N-no, Gar, not at all.” 

 

“Then please,” Gar pleaded, stepping towards her, “tell me what’s wrong.” 

 

She frowned and looked away. “I…nothing.” 

 

“Dammit, Rae!” His shout made her jump, but Garfield didn’t care. “You can’t do this! How am I supposed to believe you when you turn around and lie? I know something is wrong, Raven. Everyone does! You sleep more, you hardly do anything in the field, you keep getting sick, you drank hot chocolate instead of tea, and you even wore sweatpants today!” He took a breath, his body trembling with anger. “I’m just...really fucking worried Raven. What am I supposed to think? That this is normal? ‘Cuz it isn’t! I know you, Raven, and this?” Garfield gestured to her and the toilet. “This isn’t normal.” 

 

The silence following his tirade was deafening. Raven ran a hand over her face slowly, letting it fall to her lap as she scrutinized the toilet. A heavy sigh breezed past her lips, seeming to echo in the little room. Raven turned and met his gazed, her eyes flashing irritably. “I’m pregnant, okay?” she snapped. “Happy?”

 

Garfield blinked. Raven? Pregnant? Of all things that could be wrong, never once did that idea spring to mind. While he himself felt she was good with kids, she never came across as the mothering type, and Garfield was pretty certain kids weren’t on her agenda. 

 

Plus, as far as he’d known, she wasn’t seeing anyone, but apparently that had changed. His heart squeezed uncomfortably at the thought of Raven with another man, and he didn’t quite know why. “Oh,” he said. “I uh, I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” 

 

Raven stared at him as though he’d just spoken Greek. “I’m not.” 

 

He frowned, confusion tugging at his thoughts. “But then, how’re you pregnant?” he blurted. Raven furrowed her brows, his own confusion mirrored by hers. 

 

“Well, we had sex.” 

 

Heat blossomed across his face. “Yeah, so? If this is a joke, Rae, it’s not funny.” 

 

Raven scowled. “Why the hell would I joke about this?” she snapped irritably. “This is  _ real _ . I’m pregnant, Garfield!”

 

And suddenly, his world was spinning. 

 

Never in all of his nineteen years did Garfield ever imagine he’d be a father. Sure, he’d dreamed a little, but that dream was always quickly replaced with the crushing reality of his infertility. He remembered vividly the hushed whispers of Rita and Mento, and the awkward discussion of sex and babies, and how his genetics were most likely too unstable for him to bear proper offspring. He hadn’t cared then; he was a kid. 

 

But as he grew and became a hero and interacted with kids more and more, the knowledge he’d never get to be a dad started to hurt a little. Sure, parenthood wasn’t something he’d wanted immediately, but seeing happy couples with their kids and babies made him die a little inside, knowing it would never be him. So Garfield bottled it up and tried to accept it. He threw himself into hero work, not putting a hard focus on dating. It was why he’d readily accepted their little rendezvous beneath the sheets, and why he hadn’t even bothered thinking about condoms. 

 

He was infertile, right? So there was nothing to worry about. 

 

And yet, here Raven was, telling him she was pregnant. Emotions he never even fathomed crashed into him, and Garfield felt his knees buckle. His vision grew blurry, and his heart was in his throat. 

 

There was a quiet shuffle, and moments later a pair of gentle hands gripped his shoulders. “Garfield?” Raven said, her voice wavering with concern. He felt her fingers brush his cheek, and Garfield realized he was crying. He looked at her then, the swirling pools of her amethyst irises coming into focus. 

 

“I’m gonna be a dad?” he asked, his voice cracking. Raven stared at him, her eyes flashing, and slowly dipped her head in a nod. Garfield couldn’t help it; tears dripped down his face and his body shuddered, overwhelmed with emotion. He lurched forward and pulled Raven close, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her shoulder. He could feel her spindly arms hesitantly wrapping around him as she cooed in his ear, holding him while he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Sorry for the wait, I hope it's worth it. ;D


	5. Four

Raven stared dully at the pile of pamphlets stacked on her bed. Now that the proverbial cat was out of the bag, she was even  _ more _ confused than before. A constant tidal wave of emotions had battered at her mind all night, leaving her restlessly tossing and turning. She felt exhausted, yet could not sleep. 

 

So here she sat, staring at a stack of folded up pages and wishing she could be anywhere but here. 

 

It didn’t help that Garfield’s reaction to the...situation...had essentially been one huge curveball. She had envisioned many scenarios, all of which had terrified her, but Raven had not envisioned the shapeshifter breaking down like that. 

 

Raven was confounded by it all, and if it hadn’t been for the bone-crushing hug he’d bestowed upon her, she knew she’d probably still be wondering if he was happy or horrified. 

 

A light knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Raven shook herself and tumbled to her feet, taking a breath and steadying herself. “Coming,” she said, taking a few short strides to the door. With the push of  button, it slid open, revealing the timid expression of Garfield. 

 

“Hey, Raven,” he said, his voice soft and hesitant. “How are...how are you feeling?” He scratched the back of his neck as he spoke, nervousness coloring the air around him. Raven bit her lip and shrugged. 

 

“Okay, I guess.” Memories from the night prior bubbled to the forefront of her mind, and she let her gaze slowly blanket him. “What about you?” she asked quietly, her gaze entangling with his. Garfield blinked, a flush rising to his face. 

 

“Fine, thanks.” He paused, his gaze dropping to his hands. Raven watched him, her curiosity brewing within her. He wanted something, she could tell. What that was, though, Raven knew not. Apprehension coiled in her gut, and she gulped. Did he want to talk about...her condition? Was he going to demand she keep it? Rid herself of it? Her palms started to sweat, and she clenched her fists to quell the sparks of dark energy that danced on her fingertips. 

 

“I uh, I just wanted to apologise, for last night.” 

 

Raven blinked. “Apologise?” 

 

Garfield grinned sheepishly. “Yeah. I kind of freaked out on you, and I’m sorry. You didn’t need that, especially...now.” His gaze flickered to her stomach, and Raven self consciously hugged her arms around herself. Garfield blushed and returned his gaze to hers, scratching his head. “I know this is uh, this is probably more scary for you than it is for me, since you’re the one that’s...you know. And I just...want you to know that whatever you wanna do, I’ll support you one-hundred percent.” 

 

His voice was sincere as he spoke, and Raven’s eyes stung a little. She chomped on her lip and internally cursed her constantly shifting hormones. “T-thanks,” she said. Her voice trembled a little, shaking under the weight of the emotions that were brimming under the surface. Emotions Raven had been trained to retain within for her entire life. 

 

Yet they were impossible to deny. She felt...relieved. Empowered. And still overwhelmingly terrified. Yet when Garfield bashfully smiled at her, a little bit of peace settled over her. 

 

“I must admit,” Raven said, a tide of words fueled by relief spilling from her lips, “I was afraid after your reaction yesterday.” Her confession echoed in her ears, making her face burn. Raven ducked her head, embarrassed. Why did she just blurt  _ that _ out? 

 

Was she allowed to blame hormones for this? Raven chewed her lip. Probably. 

 

The silence that followed dragged. Far longer than silences in their conversations usually do. Raven’s brows furrowed, confusion swathing her. The air was colored with a murky mess of emotions, incapable of deciphering altogether, and she raised her gaze to meet his. 

 

Garfield wasn’t looking at her, instead he stared at the floor, his lips turned in a frown and his eyes glimmering with emotions Raven couldn’t even hope to know. “Gar?” she said quietly. 

 

“Sorry, I uh...sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” His voice was soft, and Raven could feel his emotions wavering around her. 

 

“Gar, are you alright?” 

 

Garfield nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” But his words were hollow. Raven’s heart squeezed in her chest. She couldn’t help but blame herself, the memory of his hurt and anger still fresh on her mind. She reached out, her mouth opening to speak, but Garfield beat her to the punch. 

 

“It’s just...surreal. I guess I never imagine myself being a parent.” A forced laugh bubbled from his lips, but the air around him felt dark. Raven pursed her lips, baffled. If any of the Titans were to be parents, Garfield was definitely at the top of the list. She’d seen the way he interacted with children; gentle, kind, and patient. He was always thoughtful and attentive, moreso with children than with anything else. Raven could always tell how much he adored kids whenever fans interacted with them, and she figured he’d make a great parent. So what could possibly have made him say that?

 

“I thought you wanted kids?” 

 

Garfield sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well yeah, but...I never knew it was...possible.” 

 

“What do you mean?” Raven asked. He met her gaze with sad eyes, shrugging helplessly. 

 

“I was always told I couldn’t have kids, ‘cuz of my fucked up genetics.” 

 

Raven blinked. Yesterday’s catastrophe clicked into place, and everything made horrifyingly perfect sense. Their encounter replayed through her mind in slow motion; the shock, the tears, the desperate embrace. Raven leaned against her doorframe, feeling as though she’d been shot in the chest. 

 

“Oh,” she said, her voice sounding strangled. A sudden certainty fell upon her, and Raven almost couldn’t breathe. Tentatively, she let her powers reach out to Garfield, probing his emotions. Sharp and raw sorrow stabbed at her senses, fleeing just as quickly as it brushed against her. She reached deeper, almost gasping when she found what she was looking for. 

 

Bliss. 

 

Cloaked beneath the shock, grief, and fear was a happiness Raven almost didn’t understand. And yet, she knew why it was there. 

 

And that terrified her more than anything. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, breathless. Her mind was still reeling, and Raven worried that if she let go of the wall, she’d topple over. Garfield shrugged, not meeting her gaze. 

 

“S’okay. I guess that’s why I was kinda freaked out. But I’ve got that outta my system now.” He forced a chuckle and shuffled his feet. “Well, I’m gonna head down and get some breakfast. Can I uh, can I get you anything?” 

 

Raven chewed her lip and shook her head. “No, thank you.” 

 

Garfield nodded, wavering hesitantly. “Okay, well um...I’ll see you.” He shuffled away, tossing his gaze over his shoulder as he trailed down the hallway. Raven watched him go, feeling dizzy. A certainty settled onto her, and Raven drew a shaky breath. When Garfield’s shadow vanished around the corner, she drew back into her room, pacing towards her bed. With shaking hands, Raven clutched at her communicator. She reached for the wrinkled business card that Nightwing had given her, and dialed the number into her device. 

There was a brief pause as the communicator rang, and then a perky receptionist rattled off a greeting. Raven took a deep breath. 

 

“Yes, I’d like to make an appointment…” 

 

_**~#~** _

  
  


She was really doing this. 

 

Raven sucked in a breath, trying to quell her nerves. She focused on her mantra, attempting to breathe and relax. It wasn’t working, however, and black sparks sprang from her fingertips, making her jump. 

 

This wasn’t supposed to be difficult. Really. But the confidence that had coursed through her when she’d first arranged the appointment had long left, leaving her feeling drained and anxious. So instead, Raven paced the length of the common room, ignoring the baffled stares of Starfire and Nightwing. 

 

“So...what time is that thing?” Nightwing asked, lamely. Raven paused in her pacing and shot him a glare. As soon as she’d phoned the office, she went straight to Nightwing and demanded the day off. He obliged readily, seemingly amused, much to Raven’s annoyance. She’d also timidly requested that Garfield be permitted off as well, which Nightwing thankfully didn’t question. Afterwards, Raven had merely slipped a note under the shapeshifter’s door, as she couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to ask him otherwise. 

 

“Two o’clock,” Raven said, crossing her arms over her chest. She could sense bubbles of curiosity rising from Starfire, coloring her senses with bright yellows, but the alien princess remained quiet. Instead, she merely smiled at Raven, an action that wrought a stab of guilt into her chest. 

 

“Come, sit! There is plenty of time to enjoy the television with us, right, Dick?” 

 

Nightwing chuckled, drawing Starfire closer to him. “Yeah, Raven, why don’t you sit down? The show’s about to come back on.” 

 

Raven raised a brow. They were watching some sort of drama show that Starfire was currently obsessing over. Raven herself could hardly get the appeal; it was dark just to be dark, with characters doing things over the top and ridiculous for the drama. It wasn’t exactly something that appealed to her,  _ especially _ while she was nervously anticipating her first prenatal appointment. “Um, no thanks. I’m fine standing.” 

 

Nightwing sighed. “Suit yourself, Raven.” 

 

Starfire seemed to want to say something, but Nightwing shushed her with a kiss and the two settled down as their show lit up the television screen. Raven breathed a sigh of relief, her gaze straying to the common room doors. 

 

Was he coming? 

 

Raven felt her heart leap into her throat. She hadn’t followed up on her note, and now she was regretting it. What if Garfield didn’t want to come? What if she was crazy, and he really didn’t care what she did with the baby?

 

The thought made her tremble. It was irrational, she knew; the memory of him clutching her shirt and sobbing into her shoulder was still vivid in her mind, but that didn’t stop her brain from conjuring up such fears. 

 

The whisk of the common room doors wrenched Raven back to the present, and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Garfield strolling towards her. 

 

“Hey, Rae,” he said quietly. “You, uh, ready?” 

 

She nodded, somehow managing to breathe again. Her gaze tangled with Garfield’s uncertain one, and for a moment they just stood there, lost. He broke the spell with a hesitant smile, and gestured towards the elevator. “I guess we should head out, then?” 

 

Raven murmured in agreement and pivoted around, studiously ignoring Starfire’s questioning gaze.  She saw her whispering in Nightwing’s ear as they walked away, and Raven prayed to Azar that she didn’t convince Nightwing to spill. 

 

Not yet, anyway. 

 

They stepped into the elevator, and Raven watched as Garfield pushed the button for the ground floor. Her heart hammered in her chest and her palms sweated, and Raven felt as though she may throw up. Whether that was the hormones or nerves, she couldn’t tell. It could have been either, at this point. She drew in a shaky breath and risked a glance at Garfield. 

 

“Well,” she murmured, “let’s do this.” 

 

Garfield smiled, and Raven could feel a undercurrent of excitement buzzing under his nerves. It colored the air around her, making breathing surprisingly easier. Raven found herself smiling. 

 

This wasn’t going to be so bad. 

 

_**~#~** _   


 

Regret was a strange emotion. 

 

Emotions in general baffled Raven. They were complex and fleeting; never exactly the same, and always difficult to classify. Some emotions were just combinations of others, which made them even  _ harder  _ to distinguish. But there was nothing quite so fickle as regret. 

 

Raven clawed at the stiff, plastic chair, wishing she was anywhere but here. There were a thousand questions whizzing about in her head, and her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest. Her stomach twisted and clenched, and Raven almost felt as though she may throw up. 

 

The worst part? The appointment hadn’t even begun. 

 

She wished she could just...not be here. She wished she hadn’t told Garfield, hadn’t taken the stupid pregnancy test, and hadn’t slept with her friend to begin with. And yet…

 

Her gaze slid to the green boy beside her, a spike of jealousy stabbing at her heart. How was it that he managed to look so calm? He slouched in his chair, flipping idly through one of the crinkled, old magazines that the waiting room supplied, a bored expression painting his features. A strange curiosity consumed her, and Raven probed his emotions. 

 

There was a thin line of anxiousness and a swath of contentment, but both were nearly overwhelmed by a buzzing excitement that rattled her senses. Raven blinked, letting out a shaky breath. 

 

Of course he was excited. Why wouldn’t he be? 

 

Raven attempted to muster up some excitement of her own, but only succeeded in making herself feel dizzy. 

 

“Raven?” 

 

A nurse poked her head through the doorway to the examination rooms. She smiled when her gaze settled on Raven, and gestured to her. “Right this way, dear.” 

 

Raven stood, trembling, and followed the nurse. Gar’s footsteps echoed behind her, providing a little comfort as they trekked back into the maze that was the OBGYN’s office. Or whatever it was supposed to be called. Raven focused on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other and not running into the nurse right in front of her. Aside from her somersaulting stomach, it seemed to be going well. 

 

The nurse led them to a room and ushered them inside. Raven surveyed the space, jumping a little when the door clicked shut. 

 

It was a standard examination room. At least, standard from what she knew of earthen medicine. There was a singular window letting in light, trimmed with loose, baby blue curtains to keep the mood of the room light and airy. A cushioned examination table took up a good portion of the space, a sheet of sterile paper creating a large white band down the middle of it. There were a few chairs situated by the table, and a counter with overhanging cabinets lining the opposite wall. Raven shuffled to the examination table and hopped onto it, wincing as the paper crinkled beneath her. 

 

“Alright,” the nurse said. “If you could just fill this out quick for me. It’s just a basic, brief medical history.” She handed Raven the clipboard and a pen. “I’ll just go let the doctor know you’re here while you fill that out.” She beamed, then, her bright smile doing little to sooth Raven’s raging nerves. 

 

The door clicked behind the nurse, and Raven let out a breath. She glanced down at the sheet in her hands, her brows scrunching in concentration. Basic medical histories or not, Raven wasn’t sure what the point of this was. Hadn’t Nightwing faxed her files to the office already? A warm breath tickled her shoulder, and Raven stilled. She peeked at Garfield from the corner of her eye, suddenly very aware of how close he was. 

 

He leaned over her shoulder, his bright eyes flashing with curiosity as he read over the questions. “Shouldn’t they already know this stuff?” he asked. Raven shrugged. 

 

“I dunno. I thought Dick already faxed everything over.” She started filling out the questions with another noncommittal shrug. A silence settled between them, filled only by the scratching pen. The nurse was right; the questions were pretty basic. Just a bunch of questions about any current meds, when her last menstruation was, among other things. She set the clipboard aside with a sigh. 

 

The silence became deafening. 

 

Raven glanced furtively at Garfield, willing him to speak. She would have herself, but she didn’t know what to say, aside from ‘how’s the weather’, and her tongue was practically glued to the roof of her mouth. But Garfield didn’t seem keen on breaking the anxious silence, with his feet tapping nervously against the linoleum floor. 

 

She fiddled with her fingers, her mind revolving back around the fact that there was a thing, a fetus, a  _ baby _ growing inside of her. A tremor ran down her spine. A baby. That  _ they _ made. Together. Was it really true? Raven chewed her lip, thinking back on the handful of positive pregnancy tests she’d taken. 

 

If this was some sort of cruel prank her body was playing, she would probably implode. 

 

The door swung open, and the nurse stepped in as smiley as ever. “Okie dokie, the doctor should be in here in a few!” She plucked the clipboard from the examination table and scanned over it briefly, nodding every so often. After a moment the nurse placed the clipboard on the counter. “Awesome. I’m just going to do a quick check-up now, alright?” 

 

Raven nodded, blinking. The nurse set to work, checking her blood-pressure, temperature, eyes, throat, and ears. It made Raven feel like a kid again, being checked up on in the Azarathian infirmary. She chattered about mundane things all the while, even going so far as to engage Garfield. 

 

“Alright, everything looks great!” she chirped. Raven watched as she scribbled down a few notes, before shooting her another perky grin. “Let me just step out and get the doctor!” She exited without another word, leaving the two of them alone again. 

 

“Well, the nurse is nice,” Garfield said, his voice seeming loud for the quiet little room. Raven nodded, her gaze darting haphazardly about the room. 

 

“I guess.” 

 

The nurse meant well, Raven was sure, but her perky attitude was beginning to give her a headache. It didn’t help her already frayed nerves, and Raven was pretty sure if she gave her that blinding smile one more time, she’d snap. 

 

“You know, this place isn’t so bad. I usually hate the doctor’s office.” 

 

Raven blinked. She quirked her brow at Garfield, who was peeking out the window. “Why?” she asked. Garfield sighed, letting the curtain fall back in place. It swayed to the beat of his silence, stilling just before he spoke. 

 

“Let’s just say before I met the Doom Patrol, doctors and I didn’t get along.” 

 

Something dark crept into his tone, and Raven could feel the shudder of horror leaking into his emotions. A frown tugged at her lips. Without thinking she slid off the table and crept to the window, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Raven knew little of his time before the Teen Titans. Mostly because Garfield didn’t seem too keen on talking about it. Whenever such subjects came up, she could always feel the dark clouds brewing around him. Given his nearly infamous distaste for anything regarding medicine, Raven had an idea that his experience regarding doctors was most definitely less than stellar. To what extent, though, she had no idea. But the shuddering thunderstorm that trembled through her empathy was a good enough hint for now. 

 

The squeak of the door opening had them both whirling around. A woman walked in wearing a pristine lab coat and a matching smile, her mousy colored hair tucked into a neat pony. “Hello,” she greeted warmly, “I’m Doctor Forrest. You must be...Raven?” 

 

Raven gulped, and put on a shaky grin. “Hi.” 

 

Dr. Forrest extended her hand, her smile never fading. “A pleasure to meet you, Raven. Shall we get started?” 

  
_ Oh Azar _ , Raven thought. _ What have I gotten myself into now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! Life's been hectic, lol. Anyway, enjoy! :)
> 
> -Kat


	6. Five

Rain splattered on the sidewalk, decorating the concrete in a bizarre, speckled array. Raven traced patterns among the dark spots with her gaze, picking out various creatures and designs the raindrops created as they fell. **  
**

Her fingers tightened their hold on the crisp papers in her grasp, the raspy crinkling mixing with the drip-drop of the rain as it fell. Raven’s gaze brushed the packet, a sigh breezing past her lips. It was a list of all the things she wasn’t supposed to eat, printed and stapled and arranged for her convenience.

The list was just one of many byproducts of her appointment.

“Rae!”

Gar’s voice broke into her thoughts, and she jerked her head up. The T-car sat purring before her, Garfield’s smile visible through the open window. Raven spurred herself forward, raindrops splattering on her hand as she clasped the door handle. With a tug, the door was open and she clamoured inside.

“Ready?” Garfield asked. Raven nodded, nibbling absently on her lip. She gazed at a spot on the windshield, hardly registering the car turning out of the parking lot. Her mind was amuck with a thousand fleeting thoughts and emotions.

_“So, your records say you believe you’re pregnant?”_

_Raven spared a glance at Garfield before nodding. “Yes, that is correct.”_

_Dr. Forrest nodded. “I’m assuming you’ve taken some at home pregnancy tests?”_

_Raven nodded again. She could feel Garfield’s stare on her, but Raven couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Instead, she stared at the floor. Dr. Forrest spoke then. “I’d like to do some blood work; to confirm the pregnancy, as well as checking for any pre-existing conditions. Have either of you discussed your options?”_

_Garfield’s gaze burned through her. Raven felt breathless as she met it, forests and greenery consuming her. She took a shaky breath, and nodded. “I’ve considered them, yes.”_

“Want anything to eat?” Garfield asked. Raven blinked, the windshield coming back into view.

“Sure.”

“What sounds good?”

Raven gripped her packet, trying to focus on the restaurant signs whizzing by. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she was even hungry. But the hopeful note in Garfield’s tone had her looking for a restaurant of potential.

Most of the places didn’t sound very appetizing. Not to mention that Gar’s vegetarian diet restricted their options. While she was certain he would eagerly take her wherever she suggested, regardless of his capability of eating it or not, Raven felt it was only right to pick somewhere they’d both enjoy.

It was the least she could do.

A burrito joint caught her gaze, and Raven pointed. “How about there?”

Garfield grinned, his jovial mood making her feel light. “Hell yeah, I’m down for burritos!” He flicked on the T-car’s turn signal and turned into the parking lot. The clicking filled the silence between them. Raven glanced to him, letting his emotions bathe her. Pale yellows colored the air, kindling a warmth within her core. He was alight with joy, almost giddy with it. Raven bit her lip, her eyes stinging. She looked away, gazing dully at the grey skies instead.

_“I want to keep it.”_

The car door slammed, making Raven jump. She scrambled out after Gar, her hands skimming over her abdomen almost self-consciously. Rain splattered against her exposed neck and face, spurring her into a trot. Raven caught up to Garfield, who held the door open for her with a bashful smile.

She did her best to ignore the way her heart thrummed inside her chest, and focused instead on the menu hanging from the ceiling. Surprisingly, there were quite a few choices to pick from. Burritos, tacos, bowls, and salads, with different choices of meats and veggies. Raven pursed her lips, holding back a sigh. She should have brought her list inside. Garfield led the way to the counter, his chatter falling into sync with the surrounding noises.

“What can I get for you today?”

The worker’s bright smile made Raven blink. She peered up at the menu board, trying to focus. “Um…a bowl, I guess.”

The worker led her down the line, prompting her to choose a variety of ingredients. Raven gazed at the confection of bright, fresh vegetables and savory meats. It was an interesting restaurant, and the food certainly smelled appetizing. She settled for some brown rice, chicken, and veggies. As good as the steak looked, Raven wasn’t certain how safe that was. Of all the things on the list, she knew chicken, at least, was safe.

“Okay, are these together, or…”

Garfield whipped out his wallet before Raven could even think, giving the cashier one of his charming smiles. “Yeah, here!” He handed the girl a fifty. Raven opened her mouth to protest, but he shushed her with the wave of his hand. “It’s fine,” he said, “just pick us a seat.”

Raven furrowed her brows, her lips drawing into a frown. It was too late to argue though; the cashier was already dishing out the change. So, Raven plucked the tray off the counter and surveyed the restaurant.

An unoccupied table in the corner snagged her attention. It was settled by a window, with a decent view of the parking lot. Of course, Raven cared little about the view, or lack thereof, but she did like that it was near the window. Staring out into the expanse of the city was oddly comforting, after all.

She carried the tray to the table, breathing a sigh. Garfield had purchased chips for them to share, but Raven wasn’t certain she was in the mood for chips. She honestly wasn’t in the mood for food at all; her stomach felt like it was still in knots, and her thoughts kept straying to the endlessly churning fears of her now uncertain future.

Raven sat and stared into her bowl. Rice and chicken and lettuce stared back at her, mixed into a myriad of colors and textures. Her lips tugged into a frown, and she wished briefly that she’d gotten sauce and cheese. Raven’s hand ghosted across her abdomen at the thought, and she immediately felt guilty.

She really needed to memorize the list.

“How’s the food?”

Garfield’s ever cheery grin caught her focus, and Raven forced a smile. “Good.” She plucked her fork off the tray and dug into the bowl, managing to maintain a grin. The food wasn’t bad, really. On any other day, in any other situation, Raven was certain she’d actually enjoy the dish. But today, her mind was leagues away from the present, worrying about anything and everything.

Visions sprawled across her mind’s eye; each one a little snippet of what could be. A broken body, taken by her father. Fire and chaos, lining the streets, and the world brought to its knees once more. Raucous laughter and pointing fingers, accompanied by endless taunts and chants. Mockery. Pain. Death.

Fear clutched at her heart. What if her child blamed her? What if they  _hated_ her?  _What if she wasn’t good enough?_

“Raven?”

She jolted at the sound of her name, jerking her focus onto Garfield. The concern from him was so palpable she could almost touch it. Raven forced herself to swallow her mouthful of rice before speaking. “Yes, Gar?”

He hesitated, his brows furrowing in thought. Ever so cautiously, he reached towards her, his fingers brushing against her arm. “Thank you,” he said.

The words themselves were simple. It could mean anything in the world, and yet, paired with those shimmering, emerald eyes and the pool of raw emotion rippling behind them, it was everything Raven needed to hear. She bit her lip, a tremor wracking her body. No words came forth to her lips; she couldn’t even imagine a response. There were both too many and too few things she could say. Instead, Raven clasped her hand over his and gave it a squeeze.

_**~#~#~#~** _

 

Raven peered at her reflection. Steam curled around her body, but she hardly noticed, so engrossed with the virtual image she was. She twisted and turned, straining to get a view of herself at all angles possible.

She was getting fat.

It was just a little pudge starting to line her gut; hardly noticeable. Well, hardly noticeable to anyone but herself. It was frivolous to care, Raven knew, but she couldn’t quell the feeling of utter despair as she gazed at her pudgy stomach.

The world stilled as Raven’s hand grazed her abdomen. She still wasn’t used to the knowledge that there was life growing there; it terrified her. Her gaze drifted from the mirror to her belly, and she breathed a sigh. Soon enough, she’d look like a whale. She might as well enjoy seeing her feet while she could, if her knowledge served her best.

A piercing shriek tore through the silence, jolting Raven. She cursed under her breath. The alarm. Of course it would go off at such an inconvenient time. She ripped a towel off of the hook on the door and covered herself before bolting out of the bathroom.

It was only thanks to years of practice that Raven squeezed into her uniform and slipped into the common room under five minutes, joining her waiting teammates by the couch.

“What happened?” she asked, breathless. Nightwing shrugged, peering intently into his communicator.

“Some sort of robbery downtown. Cops called for us as backup, though, so we need to check it out, stat.” He hardly waited for a response before striding towards the elevator; the que for the team to follow. Raven could feel Garfield’s gaze burning into her, and she turned to him with raised brows. His lips were pursed and his brows furrowed, and an overwhelming sense of worry clogged the air around him. She just shook her head and strode forward.

She would be fine. There was no reason to worry.

**_~#~#~#~_ **

 

The term robbery was, in Raven’s mind, used a tad bit lightly. Sure, the perpetrators had certainly robbed the bank, but upon seeing the utter destruction that had befallen the city, Raven couldn’t help but feel as though these villains were more focused on the chaos aspect of their crimes.

A fireball flew overhead, imploding into the building behind her. Raven hissed as she ducked, debris raining down around her.

“Raven!” Gar’s voice echoed through the street, forcing her to look up. Their gazes met, and the intensity had her heart leaping into her throat.

“You okay?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but one of the villains tackled Garfield to the ground. Black energy crackled at her fingertips, and Raven had half a mind to send those morons to another dimension to rot. But then she saw Garfield toss the perp off of him, and she relaxed. His face screwed up in a snarl, and he tossed a vicious punch, knocking the bastard down.

This pair of villains were new; they’d never encountered them before. Both were elementals of some sort; one created and manipulated fire, the other, water. It was as cliche as Raven could imagine, yet despite how oddly young they were, the pair were rather powerful.

Powerful enough to give all five of them a good fight, anyway.

Well, four and a half. Raven stayed amid the outskirts of the fight, only lending a hand from afar, as Nightwing had previously instructed her. This strategy seemed to go unnoticed by Garfield, who hovered rather close, to the point where Raven was tempted to smack him upside the head. He seemed to have it in his mind that if he wasn’t nearby, she’d magically get murdered, or something. It was both endearing, and annoying. Endearing, for embarrassingly girlish reasons Raven couldn’t even possibly begin to describe, and annoying, because she was a demoness with the ability to warp time and space.

She could handle herself.

That didn’t seem to stop Garfield from sticking to her side, however. Raven watched the idiot shapeshifter dodge a barrage of fireballs, a snarl still locked onto his features. Green starbolts lit up the streets around them, and Starfire swooped down from above. Her eyes were alight, and Raven could feel her blood-lust glee from her place a hundred yards away. There was no doubt that fighting invigorated the Tamaranean.

Her flame-like curls whipped in the wind as she ripped the perpetrator off of Garfield, tossing him to the side with ease. Starfire’s strength never ceased to amaze Raven; she was glad to be on the same side as her friend. Being at the receiving end of her fury and starbolts seemed quite frightening, even to Raven.

Interdimensional demoness or not, there was something rather eerie about the way Starfire took delight in battle.

An explosion of ice shards bursting around her brought Raven crashing back into reality. Black energy coursed from her fingertips, creating a shield around her.  _Shit_. She’d been so engrossed in watching the battle, she nearly forgot she was a part of it.

Raven turned her attention to the source of the ice-bomb. Her gaze caught sight of an icey smirk just before another barrage of ice and water rained down. She shielded herself, huffing. Sonic blasts, batarangs, and starbolts imploded in the streets, kicking up dust and ice and smoke. The chaos thinned, and Raven saw an opening. With hardly a flick of her wrist, she sent a car hurtling into the din, right into the water elemental. A satisfied grin ghosted across her lips. Even in the background, she could still hit her targets.

“Raven!”

Garfield’s shout had her whirling around, only to come face to face with a massive fireball. Instinct had her throwing her arms up in front of her face, her dark magic materializing into a wall in front of her. There was a blood-curdling shriek, and the distinct tang of burning skin and hair tainting the air. Raven threw her shield down, her eyes going wide.

“ _Gar!_ ”

The scream tore from her throat, and she didn’t even hesitate to throw herself into the fray. She stumbled to a halt beside his still form, her body trembling. His suit was charred, as was his entire back. The world started spinning around her, and Raven felt as though she was going to throw up. “Fuck!” she hissed. “Fuck, fuck,  _fuck!_ ”

Another fireball imploded from beside her. Raven fell to her hands and knees, coughing. They couldn’t stay here; it was too chaotic. With shaking hands, Raven clasped his burned shoulder and muttered her mantra under her breath. In a flash, they were at the med bay.

Garfield let out a groan, a noise that helped quell the panic rising within her.  _He was alive._  The realization steadied her shaking hands and helped her focus. She took a breath, and another, before willing her dark energy to lift him onto the examining table. Raven let her eyes flutter closed, her healing powers bubbling to the surface.

Slowly, she healed his wounds, taking care to not over-exert herself.

Time slowed. Raven wasn’t sure how long she stood there, carefully erasing the damage Garfield had acquired, but she was pulled from her trance by a moan of pain. Garfield roused from beneath her hands, blinking wearily up at her. “Rae?”

She shushed him, gently pushing him back onto the table. “I’m not done yet.” Her voice wobbled a little, and Raven chewed her lip.

“M’fine,” he mumbled. A spike of anger rippled through her.

“No,” Raven growled, “you’re not. You’re charred to a crisp, Gar!” She stilled, her vision suddenly blurry. Her hand grazed her abdomen, and a horrible thought shadowed her mind. This had been a close call.  _Way_  too close. “What were you thinking,” she whispered. Her bleary gaze found his, and she forced herself to blink.

Damn hormones.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.” The sincerity in his tone dimmed the anger brewing in within her, though Raven still had to fight the urge to throttle him for scaring her like that. She didn’t know what was scarier; Gar’s stupid stunt, or the thought of what could have been, had the injury been worse. Raven forced the thoughts from her mind.

“I was _fine_ ,” she said. “I can shield myself, remember?”

Garfield blinked up at her, his face crumbling into what could only be called a pout. As much as she hated to admit it, the look made her resolve shatter, and she breathed a sigh. Raven brushed a hand along his back, turning her focus back to healing him. “This stunt you pulled was stupid.”

He didn’t try to deny it; instead he laid still so she could resume her work.

A relatively comfortable silence settled over them as Raven healed the worst of his burns. She tried to not let herself think; Raven just focused on breathing and healing.

“You can stop, Rae.”

Raven shot him a glare. “No.”

“Rae-”

“No.”

“But-”

She heaved a sigh. “I’m not suddenly disabled because I’m pregnant, Gar. _I’m fine._ ”

“I know, I know,” he said. Garfield buried his head in his arms. “M’sorry.” A swirl of emotions colored the air, thick and confusing. Raven sighed again, letting her hands still.

“Why would you do that?” she asked. Garfield peeked up at her, his brows furrowing.

“I just…I didn’t want you to get hurt.” His gaze trailed down to her abdomen, and Raven couldn’t help but flush. An undercurrent of protectiveness flooded her senses, and she felt almost overwhelmed.

“I know you can protect yourself, Rae; you’re like, insanely powerful. But shit gets crazy out there fighting bad guys, and now it’s not just you who could get hurt. I’d…I’d never forgive myself if anything were to happen…” Garfield trailed off, looking down at the ground. Raven could sense there was more behind his words, but the sincerity itself was enough to make her eyes sting and her vision grow bleary. She cursed her unstable hormones for the upteenth time and looked away, trying to get ahold of herself.

“Look, I’ll tell the others soon, but I’m not…ready…yet.” She hugged her arms about herself and sighed. “If I don’t go on missions, they’ll get suspicious, you know?”

Garfield shot her an uneasy look. “Okay…well, we should probably tell them soon, or they’ll figure it out on their own.” A smile curved on his lips, matching his teasing tone. Raven rolled her eyes, trying to bite back a laugh. As upsetting as it was, she was definitely going to be showing soon, so the goof had a point.

“I know, Gar, thanks,” she said dryly. “But for now, I’ll just follow Dick’s advice and stay at the outskirts of battle. Like I was doing today, by the way.”

He blinked, his brows drawing up in confusion. “Dick’s advice? What do you mean?”

Raven snorted. “I  _mean_  that’s what he told me to do, since I wanted to keep this on the down low, or whatever.” She waved her hands about as she spoke, her own confusion thickening as Garfield’s emotions stilled around her.

“Wait…you told Dick already?”

She pursed her lips. “Um…yes?”

Garfield stared. “When?”

Raven raised a brow. “Why does it matter?” An edge arose in her voice, and she crossed her arms over her chest. What  _did_  it matter? The swath of emotions swirling around them were too mangled and fleeting for Raven to decipher, and the stare Garfield was giving her made her gut coil.  _What was his problem?_  she wondered.

He slid off the examining table, wincing. “I gotta go,” Gar mumbled. Raven blinked.

“I’m not done healing you,” she said, grabbing for his wrist. He snatched his hand out of her grasp and limped away, his expression one of stone.

“Yeah, you are.”

Raven stared dumbly at his burned back.

_What did I say wrong?_  The thought swirled in her mind, becoming a hurricane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! At long last! XD Enjoy!!
> 
> -Kat


	7. Six

Garfield threw a punch, grunting as his fist connected with the bag. Despite his wrapped knuckles, the hit still stung. But he didn’t stop; he kept punching it. Sweat poured from his skin, dripping into his eyes and splattering in the air as he battered at the chained up sack. **  
**

Stupid Raven.

The very thought of the empath brought a growl rumbling in his throat. Thoughts of Raven and babies and Nightwing swirled in his mind, creating a whirlpool of hurt and anger that made everything look red. He punched and kicked, all else a blur around him.

It wasn’t fair. Garfield knew he was being stupid and selfish, but he couldn’t help it. Knowing that Raven didn’t even tell him first about his own child made him feel like second rate; like he wasn’t important. And thoughts like that, hurt like hell.

He supposed he had an inkling that this was the case, when she’d offhandedly mentioned Nightwing faxing her medical records for her. Of course, he stupidly thought she’d not mentioned the baby part, given how reluctant she’d been to tell anyone, himself included. Of course he was wrong and of  _course_  Raven had told the pretty boy detective. Garfield snarled, landing a punch that sent the punching bag flying up towards the ceiling.

“I’m, uh, guessing now is a bad time?”

Gar froze, his face drawn in anger. “Not unless you want me to punch you, then yeah, it’s a great time!”

There was a light chuckle, but Garfield could hear the tight discomfort ringing in his ears. He turned to eye the detective, his brows raising when he noticed the lack of a mask.

Nightwing rarely went without his mask. Sure, now that they were older, he’d confided his identity to the team as a whole, but there were a lot of extraneous factors that typically kept the mask firmly fixed on Nightwing’s face. Garfield figured the only person in the tower that saw the young detective without his mask the most, would be Starfire. He himself almost never saw Nightwing bare-faced, so seeing it now was jarring.

Garfield blew out a breath. “What do you want, Dick?”

Nightwing’s thin smile melted into a frown. His impossibly blue eyes flashed with some unknown emotions, and Nightwing sighed. “Can we…talk?”

At this, Garfield snarled. “No. I don’t  _want_  to talk.” He wanted nothing of the sort. Talking led to rationality, something Garfield was tired of upholding. He just wanted to beat the shit out of the punching bag, scream, and fling himself into the great expanse of the sky, beating his wings until they fell away from his body.

“Gar…”

“No,” Gar said. “I don’t wanna talk to you, I don’t wanna  _hear_  you, and I don’t want to  _see_ you!” The iron-hot anger sparked hotter in his veins, making his body burn. His vision darkened, and Garfield let out an animalistic snarl. Without so much as a thought, he whirled onto the punching back, slamming a punch into it. The hit made the back ricochet backwards and swing violently about. There was a distinctive ‘snap’ and Gar looked up just in time to see the chain as it nailed him in the face.

“Shit! You okay, Gar?”

Garfield blinked. Despite being still, the room seemed to spin. He squinted upwards, catching sight of the shadow hovering over him. Oh. Nightwing. Garfield attempted to sit up, his pounding head eliciting a groan. “Ow.”

A pair of hands clasped his shoulders, gently pulling him upright. Nightwing’s concerned expression came into view; his brows furrowed and his lips pulled into a taught frown. “Do you want me to get Raven?”

“No!”

His voice was squeaky, making him cringe. Gar raised a hand to his temple and breathed a sigh. “I-I’m fine, Dick, really. I just need to sit a minute.”

Nightwing searched his face a moment before relenting with a nod. He settled onto the floor beside him, his quiet companionship immediately sparking guilt deep within Garfield’s gut. Gar bit back another sigh and dropped his head. “I’m sorry.” The words sprung spontaneously from his lips, as though his dazed self had lost its filter.

“For what?”

Garfield shrugged. “For being an idiot.”

At this, Nightwing chuckled. “You’re not an idiot, Gar. Though, talking might’ve helped you avoid getting hit in the head.”

The jibe, though well intentioned, did nothing more than make Garfield droop even lower. He stared at the floor, his muddled mind amuck with every fragmented emotion that ragged on his heart. “When did she tell you?” he asked suddenly.

Nightwing tilted his head. “When did who tell me what?”

Garfield lifted his head and shot the detective a glare. It was as though the look served as some sort of spark, for immediately, realization spread onto Nightwing’s features. “Oh,” he said. “You mean Raven.”

“No shit, dude.”

Nightwing frowned, but otherwise ignored the statement. Instead, he furrowed his brows and thought a moment. “Hm, well…probably a few weeks ago.” His expression softened as he met Gar’s gaze. “Is that what this is all about?”

Garfield dropped his head into his hands. Of course Nightwing would have known that long. He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised; the signs were all there. Still, Garfield supposed there was some small part of him that had believed that this was just something between the two of them.

Oh, how wrong had he been.

“I know, it’s stupid,” he mumbled. A hand draped onto his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Garfield peeked upwards, catching Nightwing’s gentle expression.

“No, Gar, it’s not,” he said. “There’s nothing stupid about how you feel.” He blushed, then, a sight that had Garfield gawking. Nightwing dropped his hand, sighing. “I know I’m not the most touchy-feely guy out there, but over the years, I’ve learned a thing or two. Like, it’s okay to feel a certain way about something. It’s  _okay_  to be mad about this.”

If anyone had told Garfield that Nightwing was going to say such a thing, he’d have laughed in their face. This was the sort of thing he usually got scolded for, if anything. So he couldn’t help but gape at the former Batman protege.

“But you also have to think about how Raven feels, too,” Nightwing said. And there it was; the impending lecture Gar was originally expecting. He clamped his jaw shut and suppressed a sigh.

“I mean, she was pretty distraught when she told me, anyway. I don’t think she really expected to tell me. Or anyone.”

Garfield blinked. “What do you mean?”

Nightwing shrugged. “I mean that I think this whole ordeal has probably been just as hard on Raven, and that she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. She was just…scared.”

Now he  _really_  felt like shit. Gar stared at the floor, wishing his misery would open a hole and swallow him up. “Wow, I really am an idiot.”

Nightwing chuckled lightly. “No, Gar, you’re just human.” He rose to his feet then, offering Garfield a hand. “Think you can stand?”

His words bounced through Garfield’s mind, and he stared at Nightwing’s hand for a moment as he absorbed their conversation.  _I’m only human_. It was a statement Gar rarely thought of in regards to himself, for good reason. Yet here, with Nightwing,  _with Dick_ , he began to see the truth to the words. A smile flickered across his lips, and he reached for Nightwing’s hand.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said. “Thanks, Dick.”

Nightwing smiled. “Anytime.”

**~#~#~#~**

 

His back hurt like hell.

Getting charred to a crisp was never pleasant, but thanks to Gar’s bull-headedness, he was now stuck with a series of very painful burns branding his back from the shoulders down to his tailbone. He winced as he looked at his backside in the mirror; for once, his back wasn’t green, and he didn’t really care for it.

Being green was better than being…branded.

Garfield eyed the ointment Cyborg had given him, and sighed. He realized far too late that working out with a charred back was a terrible idea; not only were his muscles sore from whacking the punching bag, but now his burns were aggravated and inflamed. His forehead looked worse for wear too; a big knot rested right at his hairline, complete with a purplish bruise.

He looked quite the mess.

After a moment’s deliberation, he snatched the ointment and shuffled out of the bathroom. Sure, he could try to apply it himself, but his back was so sore he could hardly walk normally, let alone reach around and rub ointment on his burns. It would be easier to guilt someone into doing it for him.

“Gar?”

Raven’s soft voice rang in his ears, and Garfield felt his heart thud in his chest. He hadn’t spoken to her since their argument a few days ago; after his talk with Nightwing, he’d  _wanted_  to apologize, he just didn’t know how. Garfield gulped and turned, managing a loose smile. “Oh, hey, Rae! What’s uh, what’s up?”

Amethyst eyes shone beneath her hood, a vulnerability shining there. She wavered in place, and Gar got the sense she wanted to speak. He waited, the pause expansive between them. There were so many things he wanted to say, but how to even begin?

“How’s your back?” she asked quietly. Garfield blinked. Oh.

“Uh, it’s okay. A bit sore, honestly.”

Raven hummed. The silence filled the space between them again; a thick barrier, full of unspoken words and unfulfilled wishes. He tried to come up with words, but it was as though his tongue was glued to the top of his mouth. Instead, he stared helplessly at her, his heart thrumming in his throat and his mind awhirl with a thousands fleeting thoughts.

“I’m…I don’t…” Raven’s words were tumbled and confused. Her usually stoic demeanor was shattered, replaced with this fidgety, nervous attitude. She seemed…lost. As lost as he felt.

“Why are you mad at me?”

The words were but a whisper; Gar almost thought he’d imagined them. But the look in Raven’s eyes betrayed the reality of what was spoken, and Garfield was left floundering. “I…” The truth was that he wasn’t mad; not anymore. His anger was processed and wrung out, leaving behind a pool of understanding and regret. “I’m not.”

Raven blinked at him, confusion twisting onto her features.

“I mean, I was. But, it was stupid, and selfish.” Garfield breathed a sigh, rubbing his neck. “I’m sorry, Rae. I was being a jackass.”

“Why? What did I do?” The question echoed in the hallway, bouncing off the walls with with a hint of panic. Garfield winced.

“I guess…” What was he supposed to say? That he was a selfish twat that wanted the news for himself? In retrospect, he felt like a petty jackass. Who Raven told when wasn’t nearly as important as her and the baby’s health; he realized that now. In part, his talk with Nightwing had certainly helped. At the very least, their conversation had sped things up, anyway. He was still angry at himself, though; Garfield knew he had reacted poorly. He took a breath, and another. “I guess I was just…upset that you didn’t tell me first. I know it’s dumb, but this is my kid, too, and I guess I wanted this to be something special; something just between us.”

He was amazed at how much…lighter he felt, now. It was as though his reproach and anger and guilt were physically weighing him down, and by speaking about it, he’d somehow tossed those weights aside. Garfield risked a glance at Raven. Her expression was unreadable, and Garfield felt a note of panic swell within him. He averted his gaze and sighed. “Anyway, it was stupid. And I’m sorry.” The silence pervaded between them, somehow denser than before. Gar’s shoulders sagged, and he let out a huff. “I’m just gonna go see if Kory will help me with this ointment, now.” He turned away then, letting the conversation sit where it lay.

With each step, Raven said nothing, and Garfield felt his heart sink lower and lower. He apologized; wasn’t that supposed to fix this?

What more could he say?

**~#~#~#~**

 

“Please, sit still,” Starfire cooed, “I am almost done administering the ointment.” She dabbed more of the oily stuff onto his back as she spoke, making him shiver. He was sprawled on the couch in the common room, trying to lie as still as possible so as to not aggravate the Tamaranean warrior.

It turned out that it was pretty easy to get Starfire to lend a helping hand; all it took was a little bit of pouting and looking utterly pathetic. Which, admittedly, wasn’t hard to do, considering that was about how he felt.

In fact, she’d taken it upon herself to help him every day for the past week. Which, at first was awesome, but now Gar just felt like a helpless pup under her care. It was slightly embarrassing.

Garfield sighed. What a mess he’d stumbled into. A small part of him wished he could go back in time, before everything became all muddled and complicated, but then, like magic, the memory of himself sitting in the bathroom listening to Raven tell him she was pregnant played in his mind. His heart squeezed and he huffed.

He’d wanted this for so long; no matter how fucked up everything was, he couldn’t find it in himself to truly regret it.

A sharp pain spiked in his shoulder, and Garfield hissed.

“Sorry,” Starfire said, her tone perfectly apologetic, “I must rub the ointment in, for it to have the fullest of effects.”

Garfield grit his teeth and managed a smile. “No worries,” he spat out. It didn’t hurt that bad. Not really. It wasn’t Starfire’s fault that she didn’t seem to know her own strength at times; besides, she was right to rub the ointment in. Even if she was being rather…aggressive. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to focus on anything and everything aside from Starfire and her administrations. The ever familiar scent of lilacs drifted into his nose, and Garfield’s eyes flew open.

_Raven._

He hadn’t seen her since their conversation in the hallway. Truth be told, Gar wasn’t exactly sure who was avoiding who. He’d be the first to admit that he spent most of his time hiding out in his room, afraid to face Raven after his attempted apology. But it almost seemed like she was avoiding him too. Until now, anyway.

“What are you doing?” Her soft voice drifted lazily through the common room, making goosebumps spread across his skin. Garfield gulped, meeting her gaze.

“Oh, hey, Rae.”

“I am applying this ointment to Garfield’s back,” Starfire chirped, ignoring Gar’s stammering. Her warm palms dug into his back, rubbing in the ointment to a level of perfection that made Gar’s back feel almost numb. He managed a sheepish grin, before a wince took over his features.

Footsteps echoed in his ears, and Garfield watched as Raven approached. Her cloak rustled as she moved, a noise that Gar found to be mystifying. He wasn’t sure what it was about the soft sound that allured him; it was gentle and calm, and brought peaceful thoughts to the forefront of his mind.

“Here, Kory, let me,” Raven said, her voice smooth. Garfield whipped his head around so fast, he nearly gave himself whiplash. He watched, open-mouthed, as Raven plucked the canister from Starfire’s hands. The Tamaranean appeared uncertain, and she glanced between them.

“Are you certain, Raven? I am nearly finished…”

Raven nodded. “It’s fine. I hear you have a date tonight, anyway.”

At this, Starfire beamed. She eagerly began chattering about where Nightwing was presumably taking her, a conversation that made Garfield roll his eyes and flop back onto the couch. He loved Starfire and Nightwing, really, but he didn’t need the play-by-play of their romantic getaways. His ears nearly perked as he heard Raven hum along, Starfire’s chatter growing distant as she drifted away.

Starfire’s spicy scent diminished, only the residues remaining. It was just Raven and him, and the thought sent Garfield’s heart into a tizzy.

The following silence was deafening. The only sounds were the gentle rustle of Raven’s cloak, and the gloopy noises as she scooped up the ointment. Hell, Gar could even hear his own blood roaring in his ears, pounding away to the beat of his own uncertainty.

“You should have let me heal this,” Raven murmured. Garfield stiffened, his face growing hot with embarrassment.

“Yeah,” he said, “I guess I should have.”

There was a beat, and then Garfield could feel the cool touch of Raven’s healing powers. Tension he wasn’t aware of holding released itself from his muscles, and he felt a bit like a blob of jelly. “Thanks,” he breathed.

“Of course.”

Garfield felt himself drift into a calm, trance-like state. Eyes half closed and breathing slow and steady, it was almost like he was asleep. Yet he was aware of the stillness of the room, and Raven’s hands ghosting over his charred back, her powers slowly erasing the damage wrought onto his body.

It was always like that when she healed him; Raven’s powers had some sort of calming effect on him, and he often felt like a cat perched on someone’s lap, basking in affection and happily dozing.

“I’ve been thinking.”

The sudden shift from the quiet had Garfield blinking. He hummed in response, suddenly wide awake. Raven seemed hesitant, her hands lingering just off his shoulder blade.

“I…I’m not good at these things. I know that.”

“What things?”

He could feel her glare at the back of his head. For reasons he couldn’t begin to articulate, amusement tickled at his lips. He said nothing though, waiting instead for Raven to continue. She let out a breath, her hands skimming across his back once more.

“Talking. Change. Apologizing.”

Garfield forgot how to breathe. His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth, and his mind was reeling.  _Apologize? Was…was she…?_

“I’m…I’m scared. About this. About all of this.” She sounded breathless, and Garfield could feel the tremors shaking her fingers. “I guess a part of me hoped that if I never spoke about this, it wouldn’t happen. Things would go back to the way they were, before we…you know.”

He could almost  _feel_  Raven’s blush; Garfield’s own cheeks warmed a bit at the memory. He chewed his lip, opting to listen.

“I guess that’s why I didn’t tell you right away. And I’m sorry.”

Garfield shifted, turning to meet her gaze. Her amethyst irises were alight with emotion. She bit her lip and looked away, her violet hair slipping from its place behind her ear and obscuring her features. Raven sighed before speaking again. “I realize now that it’s unfair to put myself in danger for the sake of maintaining a useless secret. It’s unfair to you, to our-” She broke off then, her hands curling up in fists.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured.

Garfield pushed himself upright. He placed a hand over hers and caught her gaze, slipping her a smile. “Thank you, Rae,” he said. “And for the record, I forgive you. I know this is scary; hell,  _I’m_ scared. Parenthood was out of the realm of possibility for me, until this happened.” He gestured between them, his expression turning sheepish. “I’m sorry again for being an ass…”

Raven smiled back, her dark eyes lighting up a bit at his words. It was a sight that made his insides feel warm and gooey, and he couldn’t help the loopy smile stamping itself across his features. At long last, the chasm between them had become a small ravine, and Garfield felt the sweet taste of relief in the air around them.

“I forgive you too, Gar,” she said. He felt light; like if he were to move, he’d start floating. Raven clasped his shoulder and gently turned him around.

“Now, let me finish healing you. You’ll probably want to be in one piece when we go tell everyone I’m pregnant.”

Garfield blinked, his mouth dropping open. “ _…what?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! Sorry for the wait!! And also sorry for inconsistencies, I still don't get this website, lol. 
> 
> -Kat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Sorry about any formatting issues, I'm new at ao3 and still trying to figure out how everything works! Thanks for the read. :)


End file.
